


sawdust and diamonds

by birdii (birdmint)



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Android AU, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2020-09-28 02:00:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20418020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/birdmint/pseuds/birdii
Summary: In the far future, Irene, or J00HYN as her serial number reads, is a successful law enforcement android who has been working the rough side of Seoul for three years. She is content, finding her job simple and fulfilling. However, things change when she is asked to take a prototype android named Wendy under her wing for software testing. wenrene android AU





	1. from the top of the flight

“Irene, this will be your new partner, Wendy.”

  
J00HYN’s first thought upon seeing the other android was that she was beautiful. It was unsurprising except in the extent to which she noticed, her eyes gliding over soft pale cheeks and sparkling eyes. The second was that she was startlingly small for a law enforcement droid, coming up to only 155 cm. It was even less than J00HYN’s already petite 158 cm. The third was confusion as the other droid dipped into a deep bow.

  
Apparently, it caught her handler off-guard as well as he sputtered, “What are you _doing_?”

  
The other droid turned back to him, hand over her mouth, eyebrows furrowed. She looked astonishingly human. “Irene sunbaenim is my senior, isn’t she?”

  
“She’s a droid,” the handler said, chuckling. “You only have to do that for humans.”

  
“Um… alright.” The other droid… Wendy… turned back to her. “It will be a pleasure working with you, sunbaenim.”

  
“You don’t need to use honorifics either,” the handler said, but this time with a sigh. “It’s a good thing we’re running this field test.” The latter he mumbled under his breath while placing a hand on Wendy’s shoulder. Her smile had faded to a faint frown, eyes flitting from J00HYN to the handler in what looked like confusion… or nervousness? For a moment, the singularly irrational thought crossed J00HYN’s mind that perhaps this was an elaborate prank. Surely Wendy wasn’t a droid like her. Maybe someone thought it would be amusing to see if she could recognize a human presented to her as a droid. Or maybe it was a test? The handler seemed too apathetic for it to be a joke, but tests were typically done with a scientist present since her handler wasn’t trained for research.

  
“Wendy is our newest law enforcement droid. She’s been designed to be more receptive and adaptive to human behavior and emotions. We want to test her capabilities, so we’re partnering you two up to see how efficient she is.”

  
“I understand.”

  
“Her AI is less hardwired and meant to be able to operate out of any location on the fly, so she’ll need to be shown the charging docks.”

  
“Understood.”

  
He patted Wendy on the shoulder once more before leaving the room without further commands. She did hear, “At least this one seems less creepy...” Not meant for them to hear yet again, but her handler seemed to be under the impression that her hearing level was akin to a human’s. He was in the habit of muttering to himself or his coworkers in her presence despite knowing that her hearing was three times as powerful.

  
Wendy’s head turned to follow his trajectory from the room. “Where is he going?” she asked.

  
“I don’t know.” She’d never thought to ask; his only purpose in regard to her was to brief her on her missions and she’d been briefed.

  
“Isn’t that… kind of rude?” She turned back and caught J00HYN’s eye. “To just leave like that… And shouldn’t I address you with respect?”

  
J00HYN felt like she was being partnered with a human all over again. During her first year in the department she’d been paired with a human officer to make sure she was capable of making sound decisions in the field. She’d excelled, but it’d been exhausting, especially as she’d had to learn human expressions by route on the fly. Even though at the time she’d been manufactured she’d been the state-of-the-art in human-like AI, she’d never understood the impulses and motivation behind most human actions.

  
“I am an android. You are an android. It is unnecessary.”

  
“Then what would you like me to call—” Wendy abruptly stopped as J00HYN took her hand. “What are you doing?” Curiously, Wendy’s cheeks grew a faint pink. Even more attention had gone into Wendy’s creation than she’d thought. She returned to her task, flipping Wendy’s palm to face out towards her before lining their hands up. Nothing happened. She waited a moment, but Wendy didn’t seem to have the data transfer pads under her fingertips the same way J00HYN did.  
“What was that for?”

  
“It would be more efficient to simply transfer the information, but you don’t seem to be compatible with my data hookup.”

  
“O-oh…” Wendy took her hand back quickly when J00HYN dropped it. “I think I can only receive data directly from my memory link.”

  
J00HYN frowned. “That’s highly inefficient and invasive.”

  
Wendy shrugged. “It’s supposed to be more secure. I think they want me to be able to handle different sorts of crime than what you’re responsible for. I was also told that it meant that ‘no one could get lazy with my programming’.”

  
J00HYN nodded. “Please follow me. I will show you our storage area.”

  
She led the shorter android from the meeting room to the elevator. The droid storage area was below ground, since androids didn’t need sunlight for their comfort in the same way humans did. She could hear Wendy padding behind her, her bare feet making a gentle swish on the tile floor.  
The humans in their cubicles peered curiously at them. She didn’t pay it any mind; while most people were used to her presence now, she’d experienced the stares for quite awhile in her early days in the building. Wendy didn’t seem as comfortable, following with just enough distance between them to not step on the backs of J00HYN’s shoes.

  
“So, what should I call you?” Wendy asked again when they were alone on the elevator. She seemed to relax, looking around curiously. J00HYN imagined she could’ve only been on the elevator once or twice before. “Do you like the name Irene?”

  
“The storage area is on floors B2 through B4. Our storage is on B3. You can press the buttons to go down. We were on the 3rd floor.” She stepped back and pointed towards the buttons she’d indicated, waiting for Wendy to follow her gaze. When she was satisfied that Wendy understood, she considered the questions she’d been asked. “Irene is what humans call me. It is acceptable. I refer to myself with my serial number, J00HYN.”

  
“J00HYN…” Wendy repeated it back slowly. “Which should I call you? Or maybe sunbaenim?”

  
The elevator dinged and opened up to the proper floor. Wendy trailed behind, and J00HYN found herself grabbing Wendy’s upper arm to pull her out before the doors shut.

  
“Since we are both androids, J00HYN is fine. In front of humans who aren’t in our department, sunbaenim would be appropriate.”

  
“Okay!” She turned to find Wendy smiling brightly. For a moment, J00HYN thought her memory skipped; she seemed to have lost a few milliseconds of sensory recording. Apparently, she wasn’t functioning at peak capacity today and would need to schedule a system scan before she and Wendy were assigned to a task. “Why don’t you call me 53NGW41V, then?”

  
“53NGW4N. I understand. Follow me.”

  
She led 53NGW4N down the tubes of charging stations until she found her own. The one next to her had been empty for the past month; now it would be for the smaller android.

  
“We are in docks 76 and 77; you will use 77. Do you know how to charge?”

  
“Um… not really…” J00HYN still found it strange how 53NGW4N used filler words like humans. It was highly inefficient when they were alone. She wished 53NGW4N had been outfitted with a compatible data transfer method. “I wasn’t booted when they pulled me from the charger today and I’m not hard wired with this information.”

  
“That’s fine.” J00HYN looked over the other android. She was dressed in only a plain white gown, mostly to preserve the sensibilities of the humans in the building since the androids were human shaped. She herself was dressed in work clothes, a simple pair of slacks, a button up shirt, and dress shoes. On days out of the building, she’d add basic jewelry; superfluous, but a simple touch to make her appear that much more human when necessary. She was indifferent either way; clothing was simply a part of her work. “Remove your gown so we can find your charging ports.”

  
“Do—do I have to?” 53NGW4N’s arms were crossed over her chest, hands fisted into the excess fabric.

  
“You may not need to, but it’s more efficient for the engineers and the mechanisms of the dock to be undressed during charging.” She waited for a moment while 53NGW4N simply looked up at her before deciding to try a different method. “I may not have seen you in a state of undress before, but I can assure you that I’ve seen many chassis before. All androids undress for charging.”

  
“I see…” 53NGW4N reached down to the hem of the gown, though she turned around before pulling it over her head.

  
When 53NGW4N didn’t turn back around, J00HYN decided she could start from the back side. “Do you have connectors on your feet?”

  
53NGW4N lifted one foot. J00HYN could only see skin material. Either she didn’t have induction charging, or her charging mechanism was more sophisticated than J00HYN’s, whose soles were left uncovered for better contact to the dock.  
There didn’t seem to be any visible ports on 53NGW4N’s back. She knew some models had them on the upper back or upper arm, and she trailed her fingers over both to search for a hatch, ignoring 53NGW4N shifting under her touch.

  
“Your hands are cold.”

  
“I maintain a surface temperature of 35 degrees Celsius while your surface temperature appears to be 37 degrees.”

  
“Oh.”

  
Next she lifted 53NGW4N’s short hair (_surprisingly soft_\--) to uncover her neck. She followed the same procedure, this time finding a panel just below the hairline that slid open as 53NGW4N gasped lightly. The small dysfunctional part of her that still suspected that this was a prank or a test quieted at the sight. 53NGW4N reached back, prodding at the port.

  
“You shouldn’t do that,” J00HYN told her, pushing her hand away. “You don’t want to damage anything you cannot see.” She leaned in closer; while her eyes were able to see in the low storage room light, it was harder to see the pattern of connections inside 53NGW4N’s neck. “This is the same port as my model, so you should be compatible.”

  
“G-good…”

  
“Close the panel before I drop your hair.”

  
“How…?”

  
“Just think about the sensation of it opening and reverse it.” J00HYN patiently held up 53NGW4N’s hair while the younger android figured out how to work the panel. (There was no reason for J00HYN to bring her other hand up to tangle in the short locks since her arms didn’t tire.) She combed the hair down once the panel was closed, arranging the locks to lay neatly again. “Now let’s check the front.”

  
By now she understood that 53NGW4N wasn’t going to move on her own; she seemed to have been programmed with a human-like sense of modesty. J00HYN took 53NGW4N by the shoulders, gently turning her around and tugging the gown from where the smaller android had it clutched to her chest. She ran her fingers along both sides of 53NGW4N’s neck, then across the top of her chest just below the collarbones. Finally, she checked 53NGW4N’s sides along her ribcage. She didn’t find any other panels so she returned to her earlier hypothesis that 53NGW4N had a more advanced version of J00HYN’s charging panel in her feet.

  
53NGW4N’s face was bright red at this point, and J00HYN frowned. “Are you alright?”

  
“Yes…” Her voice was quiet, which J00HYN knew humans did when they were uncomfortable or shy. 53NGW4N’s arms had returned to their crossed position once J00HYN had stepped back. If she had to guess, something was making 53NGW4N uncomfortable, but she couldn’t figure out what it could be. It was strange enough that she had had to ask the question of a droid in the first place. She decided to ignore the anomaly in lieu of getting 53NGW4N docked.

  
“Let me show you how to work the dock.” She nudged her shoes off before stepping into the tube and gesturing for 53NGW4N to follow. There was enough room for two as they were built for the droid engineers to be able to do basic maintenance while the androids were still charging. J00HYN pulled 53NGW4N by the wrist to stand on the black panel on the floor. Lights flickered and off as 53NGW4N lifted her feet up and down, eyes wide.

  
“That feels weird. Good, but weird.”

  
“It seems you’ve been programmed to enjoy charging. That’s fairly unusual, but perhaps an advantage.” J00HYN reached out for the plug that she was used to of the three dangling from the wall, handing it to 53NGW4N. “This will go into the port on your neck.” She took the robe from where she’d draped it on her shoulder and folded it neatly to place on the built-in shelf while 53NGW4N inspected the plug. “You will be able to put your clothing and any other items here. Please plug in and enter sleep mode once I exit.”

  
She stepped out of the tube but didn’t get any further before 53NGW4N blurted out, “Wait!”

  
“Yes?”

  
“I…” 53NGW4N clutched the plug between her hands, shifting her weight from foot to foot. “I’m… afraid.”

  
J00HYN peered at the other droid. Her arms were pressed up tight against her chest while her dark eyes were opened wide enough to see the whites all the way around.

  
“Please insert the plug. The door will close, but I will still be able to talk to you.” She watched as 53NGW4N bit her lower lip (how strange…) while fumbling the plug into the port at her neck. The door of the tube slid closed when the plug clicked into place.

  
“Alright, it’s in.”

  
“Now that you are plugged in and on the dock, you can command yourself to enter sleep mode. It is similar to human sleep in that you can wake up at audio or tactile stimulus, handler input, or someone accessing the dock from the keypad. Otherwise, once in sleep mode, you will not experience any stimulus or the passing of time. Do you understand?”

  
53NGW4N nodded, and J00HYN wondered whether 53NGW4N would be able to do her work properly. “They may have programmed you to be too human-like,” she said as gently as she could manage, not wanting to offend, but concerned all the same. The other girl pressed her lips together at the comment but seemed only scared than upset. “If you require assistance, the code for my keypad is R-A-B-B-I-T 0329. Please do not hesitate to wake me.”

  
“Could you wait for me to… um… go to sleep?”

  
“I can.” She waited at the door while 53NGW4N closed her eyes, fingers fidgeting slightly against her upper legs. The lights on the back panel of the tube remained steady. “Tell yourself to enter sleep mode,” she advised when nothing changed after a minute.

  
“Okay…” 53NGW4N’s face went slack and the panel’s lights finally began to fade, taking up a steady cycle of brightening and dimming to indicate that 53NGW4N was successfully in sleep mode.

  
J00HYN picked up her shoes and made her way to her own dock, undressing and tucking her clothes away before plugging herself in. Closing her eyes, she spread her hands onto panels on the back wall, feeling the familiar influx of energy and quiet thrum of software from the access point. She scheduled a system scan, pausing for a moment before entering sleep mode herself to reflect on 53NGW4N.

  
The other android’s propensity for human behavior seemed almost indistinguishable from a born human from the fidgeting to the expression of emotional reactions to stimuli. She wondered how much was programmed and how much learned either from her brief time active or from access to the data banks. Based on the small sample she had, she’d guess that 53NGW4N would manage to interact with actual humans far beyond her own capacity. She’d even found herself relying on similar techniques she used for navigating conversations with humans as she talked to 53NGW4N.

  
The second striking thing about 53NGW4N was how aesthetically pleasing she was. The engineers spent a long time on aesthetic details for the droids who were in constant contact with humans. Partially it was to combat the ‘uncanny valley' effect; making sophisticated human-like robots would be pointless if they were too eerie to interact with. Partially it was for pleasure; the engineers liked to design androids that were nice to look at. She knew she herself was pleasant to look at as she was told so frequently while she was working. She’d, in fact, once been told that she was “too pretty to be human” and had been concerned, thinking her secret had been discovered. And finally, part of it was time efficiency; perfectly symmetrical features were both more attractive and easier to design than crafting the natural asymmetry of an average human.

  
All droids manufactured for her line of work were beautiful in the same way, but there was something about 53NGW4N that made her circuits seem to fire just a bit faster. (They, in fact, were; J00HYN was inexplicably committing more sensory data to memory than usual regarding 53NGW4N.) Perhaps it was part of the improvements that came with being a newer model.

  
All in all, she couldn’t tell if 53NGW4N would be a helpful or exhausting partner, but either way she’d do her best to pass on what she knew and evaluate 53NGW4N’s effectiveness impartially during their time together. With that resolution, she switched into sleep mode, the world instantly fading away as her panel lights began their rhythmic dimming and brightening.


	2. ‘through the rest of my life’

J00HYN opened her eyes. A notification told her that she and 53NGW4N were required to report to her handler’s office in 15 minutes. A second notification informed her that her system check had come up clean, so the small blips she had experienced the last time she was functioning were a mystery. She had her bimonthly repair appointment soon, so she decided that she would only request repair sooner if the blips impeded her work. Satisfied, she unplugged herself and moved to her shelving to retrieve her uniform.  
  
“J00HYN, what—” The voice cut off with a small ‘eep’. J00HYN looked over to find 53NGW4N standing outside the door of her dock, face covered by her hand. She was dressed in the flimsy gown J00HYN had met her in. “I woke up, and I think we have to go to a meeting, but I don’t know where to go?” Her voice was muffled by her insistence on hiding.  
  
“I will lead you there,” she responded, continuing to pull out pieces of her uniform. She pulled on undergarments, more a matter of habit than function as humans reacted negatively to finding out a human-shaped android wasn’t wearing said articles of clothing. Next came her uniform which consisted of simple dark navy slacks and a short sleeved teal shirt with a badge affixed to the breast pocket. Finally, she pinned her hair back into a tight, neat bun before picking up her shoes and leaving the dock.  
  
“Are you alright?” J00HYN found herself asking 53NGW4N again, confused when she found the other android with her face still hidden in her hands.  
  
“Are you dressed?” 53NGW4N peered between her fingers, dropping her hands when she saw J00HYN fully clothed. “I didn’t mean to, um, walk in on you or anything.”  
  
“There’s no need for modesty,” J00HYN reminded her gently, putting her shoes on. “Besides, the docks are made with glass fronts.”  
  
“That’s true.” 53NGW4N laughed, and J00HYN froze at the unexpected sound. 53NGW4N didn’t seem to notice her surprise. “I’m sorry; I seem to have been programmed with inconvenient concepts.”  
  
“There’s no need to apologize for your programming,” J00HYN said after a millisecond too long pause. “It will make your time among humans easier if these things are instinctual. But there is no need for it to impede you between the two of us.” She jammed her foot into the second shoe before standing up and gesturing for 53NGW4N to follow. She decided not to dwell on the momentary delays that 53NGW4N’s presence seemed to provoke without reason. “We will retrieve a uniform for you from the closet before our briefing.”  
  
To J00HYN’s chagrin, they arrived five minutes late. She’d found 53NGW4N a fitting uniform from the supply closet before they left the basement level. The shorter droid now stood beside her fully dressed, looking far more comfortable than earlier. She stood up straight, hands still at her sides unlike her previous fidgeting. It was what J00HYN would expect from another droid, but she felt like she couldn’t make any assumptions about 53NGW4N.  
  
“I apologize for the delay,” J00HYN said after her handler greeted them. “We didn’t allot time to outfit Wendy.”  
  
The handler waved his hand. “I should have remembered to give you extra time. You did good making sure Wendy is ready to go out.” He turned, digging through a bag on top of his desk. He pulled out a standard issue taser, handcuffs, and a badge and handed them to 53NGW4N who took them with a frown. However, unlike the charging dock, 53NGW4N seemed to understand the gear she was handed and tucked each away in the appropriate slots on her belt.  
  
“Today you will go on your normal rounds, only with Wendy tagging along. Every time you’re assigned to patrol with Wendy, we’ll need a report on the day so we can assess her performance.”  
  
“Understood.”  
  
He turned to 53NGW4N. “Any questions?”  
  
“No, I think I’m good. I seem to have information on the typical procedure for a patrol shift. And if I have any specific questions, Irene can help me, right?”  
  
J00HYN wasn’t expecting 53NGW4N to turn to her but nodded once she saw the cue for confirmation.  
  
“Irene has been assigned to this area of Seoul for three years; she should know anything you need to know.”  
  
“I understand.”  
  
He turned back to J00HYN. “Take care of her,” he commanded, pointing at 53NGW4N. “She’s a very expensive piece of equipment. The R&D guys will have my head if we lose her parts to looters. We’re sending her with you because I managed to convince the department heads that you would be more careful than a human officer. Plus…” He paused, looking at her thoughtfully. “This’ll also help convince the department to keep you around when you hit 5 years. Man, one of the oldest droids in the division…” He rubbed his chin, eyes seeming to focus on a point just beyond her head.  
  
“Yes, sir. I understand,” she responded when he didn’t continue.  
  
53NGW4N was looking between the two of them with a frown. J00HYN didn’t understand why.  
  
“You probably don’t even care about that sort of thing, do you? It wouldn’t be in your programming.”  
  
In actuality, J00HYN had found that she would prefer to continue working rather than be wiped and recycled at the end of her commissioned five years. She suspected that he wouldn’t appreciate hearing that, however, and remained quiet.  
  
“Anyways, you can go ahead and head out on your usual routine. If today goes well, you’ll be back to the normal schedule this week. Don’t forget to submit your report before charging.”  
  
“Understood, sir.”  
  
53NGW4N was quiet as J00HYN led her to the underground shuttle that took them to the far side of the city. J00HYN had been paired with other droids before, typically for a day or two at most during periods of heavy crime. Those shuttle rides had been similarly quiet. J00HYN would normally initiate a data transfer before leaving the building so that her temporary partner would know the peculiarities of her beat as well as she did before they began working. She couldn’t imagine the most efficient way to accurately transfer the information through language alone, particularly when talking about the locations from a distance. How humans managed to transfer knowledge successfully through language on a daily basis, particularly considering ambiguity was abundant in human language, was utterly baffling to her.  
  
In the seat next to her, hands neatly folded in her lap, 53NGW4N was gazing around the shuttle car. Her eyes flitted from passenger to passenger, seemingly enthralled with the novelty. More than a few people had noticed her unusual interest, staring back at her warily. In their uniforms, there was no reason to suspect that they weren’t human police and a police officer being overly curious was worrisome to many in the area they were traveling to.  
  
The shuttle turned, and there was a muffled thunk followed by a metallic rolling sound that was growing louder. J00HYN looked around for the source, her eyes landing on the metal cylinder rolling towards their feet just as 53NGW4N leaned over to pick it up.  
  
“Don’t—” J00HYN started when 53NGW4N lifted it to eye level with a frown and twisted off the top.  
  
J00HYN could only stare as 53NGW4N brought it to her nose and took a sniff. She turned to J00HYN with a smile. “It’s tea.” She screwed the top on and stood up, holding the canister high. “Did somebody drop this?”  
  
“That’s mine, dear.” The voice belonged to an older woman seated a few seats in front of them. She looked to be at least 70 years old, draped in a brightly colored shawl that stood out in the dim tunnel light. J00HYN kept her eyes firmly fixed on 53NGW4N as she walked down the car to the woman.  
  
“Here you go,” she heard 53NGW4N say.  
  
“Thank you dear. I was going to have to go through all the trouble of hunting it down when we got to my stop.”  
  
“It’s not a problem!” 53NGW4N’s voice was naturally cheerful. J00HYN had always assumed that quality wasn’t possible due to androids’ voice programming. Perhaps 53NGW4N’s voice capabilities had been improved in the same way her emotional affect had so it could better communicate her emotive capacity.  
  
“Is it your first day on the job?” The woman continued, leaving J00HYUN confused yet again. People rarely continued conversations with her beyond what was necessary, and she couldn’t see the purpose of the woman’s question.  
  
“It is!” 53NGW4N answered. “I haven’t been on the shuttle before.”  
  
“Are you not from Seoul?”  
  
“I…” Why was 53NGW4N pausing? “Um, no, actually. I’m from somewhere without public transportation like this so it’s exciting for me.” That was a blatant lie. 53NGW4N was designed and produced here in the city just as she was. Why was she lying? Did she lie regularly? Was this faulty programming? Should she call the department and have them return for repairs?  
  
“I’m sure this old dark train won’t be exciting for long, but it makes me happy to see someone enjoying themselves this morning. Good luck on your first day, dear!”  
  
“Thank you, ma’am!”  
  
J00HYN was still deciding what course of action she should take when 53NGW4N returned to her seat.  
  
“Why did you lie?” she asked the moment 53NGW4N sat down.  
  
“Lie…?”  
  
Did she forget where she was manufactured? Did her learning algorithm lead to her overriding old data? J00HYN came up with hypothesis after hypothesis as 53NGW4N looked at her with furrowed eyebrows.  
  
“What do you mean… oh! When I told the lady I wasn’t from Seoul? Did you mean that?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“But that wasn’t a lie. Well, not really…” 53NGW4N was definitely in need of repair. It was a shame; the other android was interesting as she was. But she couldn’t risk 53NGW4N malfunctioning in the field.  
  
“I am going to contact the department and ask to be recalled,” she said.  
  
“What—oh, no, don’t do that. I’m sorry. I should explain.” 53NGW4N took her hand suddenly, the warmer surface temperature of the other droid imparting warmth. “I understand that it isn’t factual to say I’m not from Seoul. But the lady would’ve been concerned if I told her I was.”  
  
“What do you mean?” She stopped the messaging process she had running to let 53NGW4N answer.  
  
“Um…” 53NGW4N’s grip on her hand shifted, her fingers loosely wrapped over J00HYN’s palm. “How in depth should I explain?”  
  
“Everything. I don’t understand.”  
  
“Okay so…” 53NGW4N hummed lightly while organizing her response, producing a sweet, pure note. “I had been looking around the shuttle because it was a new experience for me, and since she asked if it was my first day, she had noticed me doing so. But taking the shuttle is usually a daily occurrence for most people who live in Seoul. Therefore, it would be very confusing for her if I was both ‘born’ in Seoul but had never been on the shuttle before. It would be easier for me to explain this discrepancy by me claiming to be new to Seoul if I wanted to maintain the facade of being human. Does that make sense?”  
  
J00HYN couldn’t find any fault in the logic, assuming 53NGW4N was working from correct assumptions regarding the woman’s thoughts. “It seemed to have fulfilled the goal of maintaining a human appearance,” she allowed. “How did you come to your conclusions about her state of knowledge?”  
  
“I…. Hm…” 53NGW4N’s hand moved from its position around J00HYN’s to cover her mouth. J00HYN found her hand suddenly cooler. “I’m not sure exactly. I remember thinking that she must’ve found my actions unusual when she asked me if it were my first day, and therefore I must’ve appeared to be doing something I wouldn’t do if I was used to the situation. And there had been other people staring at me, which supported that conclusion…” She stopped, tilting her head. “Is that too much explanation?”  
  
J00HYN shook her head. “I didn’t understand the situation; I wouldn’t have been able to come to the same conclusions you did. Even with the new information, I’m not sure I would have made the same conclusion independently. It must be the upgrades to your software.”  
  
“I suppose so. We could always ask to make sure I’m properly functional… Oh, is this our stop?”  
  
They emerged from the station into a worn-down area, the sidewalks narrow and crumbling. Seoul had been a hot spot for the technology boom of the past decade, 53NGW4N and J00HYN herself as products of the era. Unfortunately, alongside huge advancements in technology, the boom has also produced a heavily overgrown city. Buildings were packed together as tightly as possible, older structures knocked down to build even taller ones to make the most of the limited urban space. Even for more successful inhabitants, space was at a high premium. For the poor who had been scraping by, housing was a distant dream except in areas like this. The weak morning sun barely reached the street with the shadows cast by the towers over the thin pavement.  
  
The smog was thick in this area and everyone they passed had at least a rag covering their nose and mouth. While they technically didn’t require it, not wearing a face mask was a dead giveaway that they weren’t human. They stood out enough already in their uniforms alone. J00HYN fished her mask out of a pocket, passing an extra to 53NGW4N who put it on without comment after a moment of looking around.  
  
“There are so many homeless here,” she heard 53NGW4N whisper beside her.  
  
“There is,” she replied. “There always has been.” She expected a response from 53NGW4N, but instead the other android fell into step behind her as she set off on her usual patrol route. As they walked, J00HYN would tell her details about the areas they walked through, what to watch for and problematic hot spots for crimes. 53NGW4N was attentive, but she noticed that 53NGW4N’s gaze tended to fall on the beggars sitting on the scant benches or by store entrance stairs. Her mouth was set in a constant grimace that J00HYN wasn’t certain how to address. Instead she let her eye follow 53NGW4N’s, trying to piece together what was holding 53NGW4N’s attention.  
  
Even she could see that the humans sitting alongside the road were in poor condition, between ragged layers of clothing and the signs explicitly asking for help. She had seen such people stop passersby, but whether it was her uniform or her inhuman lack of affect, she’d never been stopped herself, so she’d never had a reason to reflect on their situation further. 53NGW4N seemed concerned despite seeing these people for the first time.  
  
Perhaps this was another thing she lacked the capacity to understand while 53NGW4N’s updated system could. She didn’t feel physical discomfort; needing to charge only meant a blinking red notification while pain was simply an unpleasant localized notification she could quiet after assessing the potential for continued damage to her limbs. The most she felt was disappointment when events didn’t follow her predictions or fleeting wants for a situation to be different than it was in reality. As long as she was functional, she would be kept sheltered and once she wasn’t, she would be decommissioned before she was aware.  
  
She had no capacity to suffer like the humans she saw, she concluded. That they suffered was simply a fact that was bundled along other pieces of data about the city. But it didn’t seem to be for 53NGW4N. Did that mean 53NGW4N had the capacity to suffer?  
  
She wasn’t sure that she liked the hypothesis she reached.  
  
“What do you like about your job?” 53NGW4N asked. They had been walking quietly for the past fifteen minutes. After they had completed their first loop of J00HYN’s typical rounds, J00HYN had fallen silent since she had already imparted all the data she felt necessary.  
  
“What do I like?” J00HYN repeated.  
  
“Yes. What’s the best part?”  
  
The question was baffling to her; her job was what she was programmed to do. Doing any aspect of it fulfilled her objectives, which was all that was relevant. But 53NGW4N was looking over to her with a smile awaiting an answer.  
“By ‘like’… you mean ‘a preference for compared to other aspects’.”

  
“Yeah.”

  
J00HYN thought the question over, wondering how to produce an answer. Her shifts were 26 hours long. She was awoken at her scheduled time, shuttled out to the same station, and walked one of a handful of loops around the area. At unpredictable intervals she was called to the scene of smaller crimes that could be handled alone or at least initially contained by herself. She occasionally sustained injuries, but they were repaired at the end of her shift. After any necessary repairs, she would dock until her next shift in 30 hours. No part of this cycle stood out as more or less preferable, and she said as such.

  
“Really, nothing?”

  
“Everything I do equally fulfills my purpose.”

  
“Then does that mean you just like everything?” 53NGW4N said with a laugh.

  
“By default, yes.” There was a pause, and J00HYN realized that she should return the inquiry. It was rare that she was expected to uphold a conversation. She had never been required to converse with another android. “Is there something you like?”

  
“Hmm… I haven’t even been here a single day yet.” She laughed again, but her gaze left J00HYN’s face to look out at the road before them. She tapped a finger against her mouth as she considered the question, and J00HYN thought 53NGW4N’s lips were a particularly pleasing shape. There was no need to look at 53NGW4N to wait for an answer, and she resumed her watch of the neighborhood.

  
“I guess, if I were to say anything, so far I’ve liked walking outside with you. You know so much about the area.”

  
“I have been doing my job for three years.”

  
“You have an eye for detail, though.”

  
“Normally I would’ve simply transferred all of my knowledge directly. However, due to your particular build, it was necessary for me to attempt to convey it with words alone.” She paused. “I’m not sure whether I succeeded in choosing the most salient details.”

  
“Oh… I’m sorry for the inconvenience my design has caused.” 53NGW4N ducked her head in apology, causing J00HYN to tap 53NGW4N’s shoulder and shake her head.

  
“It is fine. Please do not apologize for factors out of your control.”

  
“I, well, um…” 53NGW4N pressed her lips together as she resumed her initial line of thought. “But I think the small details are the most interesting. It’s the kind of knowledge I wasn’t preprogrammed with and I might’ve not noticed without your experience.”

  
“To be honest, I initially was disappointed to discover you were not built with a data transfer method,” J00HYN admitted, hoping 53NGW4N didn’t think she still thought the situation inconvenient. “However, I wonder if this situation is the reason why your engineers neglected to give you one. While I am not skilled in prioritizing information, a human partner would be able to readily present you with the most relevant facts of a situation.”

  
“Perhaps that’s what it is,” 53NGW4N agreed. “At the very least, I’m enjoying myself. A walking tour from J00HYN.” 53NGW4N grinned, and J00HYN found herself staring for a second longer than needed to take in the visual stimulus.

  
As they continued to patrol, 53NGW4N kept up a stream of questions about people and buildings they passed. Sometimes it was something she had neglected to mention in her initial lecture. Other items were things she’d neglected to notice herself. She was beginning to see the value of having a partner on her rounds. As 53NGW4N’s information prioritizing algorithms were fundamentally different, their conversation helped her to acquire new information she hadn’t realized was there for her to notice. 53NGW4N also continually linked things to world knowledge J00HYN wouldn’t have considered relevant. The other droid’s gentle chatter was enriching her knowledge of a beat she’d thought she knew entirely.

  
She hadn’t known how to answer 53NGW4N’s earlier question, but now she thought that perhaps she ‘had a preference for’ walking along with 53NGW4N. It was a shame that this was a temporary arrangement.


	3. do you wait for me there?

18 hours into the shift, J00HYN received a notification of a burglary in process. 53NGW4N, who had been asking about a food cart they had passed, abruptly stopped speaking.

“My first crime scene,” she said, biting her lip. It was the second time J00HYN had seen the gesture from 53NGW4N and still didn’t understand the significance.

“This way.” She nodded down an alleyway on their left, leading 53NGW4N down the quickest path towards the crime scene.

In her ear played the contents of the initial emergency call. A single thief, but one who was armed. Two employees in the store. Both employees in uniform, the thief in jeans, a leather jacket, and a face mask. J00HYN made note of each piece of information, eyes scanning the area as they emerged from the alley across the street from the small convenience store. She only saw a single car parked in front of the store. Parked diagonally, it crossed both lanes on the narrow street. Thankfully, she didn’t see any civilians. It would make their job easier.

Additional police would be on their way, responding to the same alert they had received. She approached cautiously with 53NGW4N immediately behind her, trying to stay out of sight while waiting for backup. Through the wide glass doors, she could see the criminal in front of the counter, a laser pistol in hand. It was pointed at the cashier, the criminal’s finger on the trigger.

“I have to go in,” J00HYN told 53NGW4N as she saw the threat. “Wait at the entrance.”

She approached the store, coming just close enough to set off the automatic door sensors. She hovered her hand over her taser.

“I don’t have the code to the safe,” the cashier was saying frantically. Tears were trailing down his cheeks, hands raised in the air and shaking violently. “Only managers can—”

“Police,” J00HYN announced loudly. “Hands in the air.”

The criminal spun around at her voice, pistol aiming at her. The cashier ducked below the counter the moment the gun turned away.

“Put the weapon down,” she commanded, holding her ground.

Instead of dropping the gun, they shot J00HYN in the chest. Pain flared from the point of impact, but she pushed it aside with only a millisecond delay. She rushed forward before the shooter could realize that the laser hadn’t impeded her. Gripping the criminal’s wrist, she forced the tip of the pistol towards the ground, using her other hand to grip the back of the gun and rip it forward out of their grasp.

She succeeded in disarming them, but in the process their arm slipped from her grip, leaving her holding the pistol and their jacket. However, 53NGW4N was waiting at the door as requested. Before they could leave the store, she caught them with an outstretched arm around the middle. J00HYN powered down the pistol as 53NGW4N forced the shooter to the ground.

In the moment J00HYN’s attention was focused on the pistol, 53NGW4N cried out sharply. She looked up to see 53NGW4N slam the criminal’s wrist against the floor, forcing them to drop a small knife. It clattered to the side uselessly, but 53NGW4N’s arm had a large slash running down her forearm, skin flapping open to reveal twisted wires and metal bones.

Tucking the pistol away in her belt, J00HYN rushed forward to help secure the criminal. 53NGW4N maneuvered them upright so J00HYN could latch her handcuffs on their wrists. They sat in the store until police cars and EMS arrived on the scene. 53NGW4N occasionally made quiet hissing sounds as they waited, pressing her arm into her side.

When backup arrived, the criminal was loaded into a police car to be securely transported back to the closest station. J00HYN and 53NGW4N were given a ride in another car to fill out the appropriate paperwork.

With her hands free, 53NGW4N kept fiddling with the loose skin on her arm, pressing it back into place. Each time she moved her hand away, it curled back open. Her face was a constant grimace and she occasionally made small noises that were just audible.

“What’s wrong?” J00HYN finally asked as 53NGW4N flipped the skin back into place the fourth time.

“It hurts.” Her voice was strained. J00HYN frowned.

“Turn it off.”

“What?”

J00HYN hadn’t realized that 53NGW4N wouldn’t know. “Dismiss the notification.”

“The notification? Is…” 53NGW4N pressed her eyes closed for a moment, lips pressed together tightly. “Is there supposed to be one?”

“There should be a notification as well as a localized sensation of discomfort to inform you of the location of the injury,” J00HYN explained. “If you dismiss the notification, the discomfort will also cease.”

“There’s no notification.” 53NGW4N let out a low laugh. “I keep thinking that if I hold the skin in place, maybe it’ll make the pain go away, but…” She sat up straighter, nodding slowly to herself. “It’s just a signal from the sensory input system. I’m still functioning. I’m alright.” She punctuated each statement with a single sharp nod of her head before turning to J00HYN. Her eyes widened, mouth opening in a wide circle.

“Your chest…” 53NGW4N reached out towards the scorch mark, pulling back just before she made contact. “Are you okay?”

“I’m perfectly functional.” She looked down at the injury. The area of her uniform shirt had been burned though, as had the skin beneath. The laser had only caused cosmetic damage, engraving a circle on her chassis. It did, however, manage to cut through at the very center of the impact site to reveal wires beneath. However, she knew from the notification that it hadn’t significantly impacted her system, and so hadn’t given it a second thought. This sort of injury was unusual, but not novel for her.

“Doesn’t it hurt?” Concern filled 53NGW4N’s eyes, and she gripped J00HYN’s forearm.

J00HYN shook her head. “No. I dismissed the notification.” She ran a finger along the scored metal. “This will only take approximately a half hour to repair after our shift. It’s not concerning.”

“If you say so.” 53NGW4N was still frowning. J00HYN patted 53NGW4N’s hand that was still enclosed on her arm. From past observation, the gesture should be reassuring.

A thought came to her. “Perhaps you not able to dismiss the notifications because you are harder to repair.”

“Huh?”

“Since you are a prototype, your parts are not readily available the way my model’s components are. Persistent pain would both deter you from moving and being further damaged as well as motivate you to seek repair more quickly.”

“Oh… that makes sense.” 53NGW4N extracted her hand from under J00HYN’s, inspecting her own arm again with a wince. “But why does it need to be so strong for something that hasn’t damaged any of my internal components? It just makes me not want to move.” She paused, then laughed. “Mission accomplished, I guess.”

“Your skin seems to be of a different material than standard.” J00HYN held her arm up to 53NGW4N’s to compare. “Yours is a shade lighter. Also, your cheeks have extra functionality. This may be the case elsewhere, although we haven’t seen evidence of it yet.” She pressed two fingers on 53NGW4N’s cheek. It immediately demonstrated said functionality, turning pink and a degree warmer under J00HYN’s touch. “The intent may be to keep you from damaging the skin material as well.”

“But it makes it hard for me to do my job properly.” 53NGW4N sighed, leaning back against the seat.

“It does seem more than necessary,” J00HYN agreed. “I will make mention of it in my report.”

“Thanks.” 53NGW4N sighed again but looked over to J00HYN with a small smile. “Hey, we did it, huh?”

“We did,” J00HYN affirmed. She looked over 53NGW4N’s face, noting how her eyes were still unnaturally wide, the corners of her mouth held tense despite the smile. 53NGW4N’s injury was minor. As she was still functional, it was irrational to be concerned about something easily repaired. However, she found it displeasing to think of her partner in prolonged discomfort. “I will ask about repairs when we arrive.”

“It’s fine. I’ll just wait until our shift is over, like you. I wouldn’t want to take unnecessary time away from patrol.”

J00HYN wasn’t pleased with her response. “As your senior, I will request repairs when we arrive.”

“Alright, if you think that’s best…” 53NGW4N still looked upset but didn’t protest further. J00HYN decided that this was sufficient and let the matter drop.

Upon arrival at the station, J00HYN led 53NGW4N to the patrol superintendent’s office. As droids, it was required for them to immediately report all involvement in active crime situations. She had personally made many stops at this particular office and the path up to the second floor was second nature for her.

The door was opened when they arrived, revealing a stern looking woman sitting at the wide desk glaring at a monitor.

“Excuse me, sir.” J00HYN called out, waiting at the doorway.

The superintendent looked up, the scowl on her face softening slightly. “Irene. Come in.”

J00HYN gestured for 53NGW4N to follow her. “I am here to report involvement in the attempted robbery that took place at Naesu-2-dong 199-beonji 1-ho approximately an hour ago.”

“An hour ago…” The superintendent turned back to her monitor, typing something before nodding. “I see the alert here. The shooter was successfully arrested…?”

“Yes sir.”

“I’ll make a note of your check in. You know the drill,” she said, turning back to her monitor. “Who’s your partner.”

“Hello, ma’am.” 53NGW4N stepped forward with a bow. J00HYN noticed that her hand was still wrapped over the cut on her left arm, keeping the skin closed. “I’m Wendy. I’ve been assigned to work with Irene sunbaenim for a period of training. Pleased to meet you.”

The superintendent looked from 53NGW4N to J00HYN. “They’re letting bots train new officers?”

J00HYN didn’t bother reacting to the casual derogatory term. The superintendent had shown her distain for police droids since the first time J00HYN reported into this station. It was fortunate that, despite her dislike, the superintendent was cooperative. J00HYN believed that for the superintendent, having a smoothly running department outweighed her distaste for the droid patrollers.

“I’m an android as well, ma’am.” 53NGW4N dipped into a small bow again. “Um, I was also at the same incident as Irene sunbaenim.”

“Is this some sort of prank?”

“No, ma’am.”

The superintendent pressed her lips together tightly, shaking her head before turning back to her monitor. “ID number?”

“5-3-N-G-W-4-N.”

“That’s not a format I’ve ever seen before,” she muttered, but typed it in anyways. “Looks like you’re in the system, though. Anything else I need to know, Irene?”

“Wendy will be accompanying me on patrol for an indeterminate amount of time. If you have any questions, please contact my supervisor.”

“Sounds fine. Go get that paperwork done, then.” She waved them off, but J00HYN remained still.

“I would like to request repair for Wendy.”

J00HYN watched as the superintendent’s eyes fell on the laser scorch on her chest, then on 53NGW4N, her eyes scanning downwards until she saw the cut. “Our repairman is off for the evening,” she said finally. “Are you functioning well enough to finish your shift?”

“Wendy’s sensory input system is significantly impeded by the injury she sustained during the intervention.”

“It’s alright,” 53NGW4N said, resting her hand on J00HYN’s upper arm. “We only have 6 more hours in our shift; I’m functioning well enough to finish up.”

“I would like to request an early leave for Wendy so she may return to the department,” J00HYN continued, heedless of 53NGW4N’s interjection.

“I’ll have to message your supervisor.” J00HYN waited as she began typing.

“It’s really alright,” 53NGW4N tried insisting again. “I’d hate to cause any inconvenience.”

“It’s not up to me,” the supervisor said absently, continuing to stare at her monitor. She squinted as a ping sounded. “Hm… he says they need a full shifts’ work from Wendy today. I can’t clear you to leave.” She shrugged, looking back to the two of them dispassionately. “Don’t forget to pick up a new shirt, Irene. You’re dismissed.”

J00HYN stood stiffly, responding a beat late. “Understood.” She turned left and left the room without further comment. She heard 53NGW4N make her goodbyes behind her.

53NGW4N fell into step with her a moment later. “It really is okay,” she repeated. “I appreciate you asking for me, though.”

J00HYN saw that she was still cradling her cut arm. “It’s not prudent to have you on patrol at less than full capacity. Particularly when I am already on shift. I am able to cover the patrol alone.”

“I…” 53NGW4N’s voice was softer than before. J00HYN waited for her to continue, but she remained silent, walking just a step behind her.

They picked up the paperwork from the assistant at the front desk, ducking into an empty conference room. 53NGW4N needed minimal instruction to fill out the form, bending her head low to write in her answers after a few laconic questions. J00HYN began to suspect something was wrong but reviewing the past hour, she couldn’t pinpoint any reason. Perhaps the cut on 53NGW4N’s arm was getting jostled and causing her further pain? Or maybe she was displeased at J00HYN’s ability to get her the promised repairs? She had said she was alright with the outcome, but she had demonstrated an ability to tell believable lies earlier. If she were doing so again, J00HYN wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.

“I’m finished.”

J00HYN took the form, glancing over it quickly to make sure it complied with expectations. She found it satisfactory. She looked over to 53NGW4N who was still sitting, looking down at the table. Her hand was still wrapped around her cut forearm.

“It’s completed correctly,” she said. 53NGW4N nodded, standing up slowly. When the other droid didn’t otherwise respond, J00HYUN frowned. “Does your arm still hurt?”

“Um…”

53NGW4N looked startled by her question, so she tried again. “Is it still causing you discomfort? Would it help to secure the injury? The station has first aid kits with surgical tape.”

“It still hurts, but I think that’d be helpful. Thank you.” J00HYN wasn’t sure why 53NGW4N now looked pleased if she was still in pain, but at least she’d stumbled onto a way she could actually help.

She exchanged their completed forms for the kit. Fished out of the back of a cupboard, the contents of this particular kit were ill stocked. Most of the little pockets in the kit were empty, leaving the kit primarily with eyewash, gauze pads, and various sizes of band aids. Shifting through the contents, she found only the cardboard roll for the surgical tape left.

She did her best with the supplies available to her. Picking out the larger bandages, she took 53NGW4N’s arm and pasted them over the cut to close it up. She stuck the bandages on perpendicular to the cut to ensure that they stuck to both sides of the opening, slightly overlapping each one so that no skin showed in-between. When finished, it looked like she had attempted to give 53NGW4N a skin graft with the adhesives.

53NGW4N laughed when J00HYN finally released her arm, bending it carefully. “It’s funny since these are meant for humans’ cuts. Do I pass for a human?” She winked before laughing again. The number of winks J00HYN had received over the past years were uncountable (for a human at least; J00HYN could conceivably review all of her visual data and run a count if she so needed). It was the first time a wink had made her smile without realizing.

“I think I might need a few less bandages, though,” 53NGW4N said, continuing to bend her arm. The adhesives over the crease in her arm were pulling away from the skin with each bend. “It’s a bit hard to move.”

“Come back.” J00HYN fussed with the band aids, crumpling up half and spacing out the rest so that there were just enough to do their job. This time, when 53NGW4N moved her arm, they all remained in place. Before returning the kit, she ran her hands over her handiwork one last time to make sure the bandages would hold. It was satisfying to have found a solution for 53NGW4N’s problem.

“Thank you for taking care of me.” 53NGW4N took the hand J00HYN had been smoothing out the band aids with, holding it as she looked up at J00HYN intently. “I’m sorry for the bother.”

“It’s alright.” It was her responsibility, and she wouldn’t consider doing otherwise. Instead of saying as such, she gently took her hand back to pack up the kit. “We should return to work.”

“Right.”

The rest of their shift went by smoothly. 53NGW4N held her arm stiffly, occasionally wincing, but otherwise had returned to the same chatter she had started the shift with. When they arrived back at the department, she immediately sent 53NGW4N off to get repaired while she drafted a report of the day.

She went over the events from earlier briefly, wondering what to say about 53NGW4N specifically. 53NGW4N’s biggest strength was her ability to pass as human, undoubtedly. The curiosity driven by her information prioritizing algorithms had also been useful. She couldn’t decide whether 53NGW4N’s pleasant company was something that should be included, and so she left it out. She similarly debated whether 53NGW4N‘s lack of immediate data transfer methods was a negative, although this point she elaborated on. She finished by mentioning 53NGW4N’s lack of ability to dismiss pain notifications and how it was a detriment to her ability to work. The main purpose of android officers was to reduce harm to human officers; it defeated the purpose somewhat to have a droid who was hampered by pain. She would also prefer if 53NGW4N wasn’t forced to remain in a state of prolonged discomfort again.

By the time she finished her report and was fully repaired, 53NGW4N was already asleep in her dock. J00HYN peered through the glass front. The band aids plastered on 53NGW4N’s arm were gone, the skin now unbroken. Her face was smooth in sleep. J00HYN hoped that meant she would be perfectly functioning upon waking.

She lingered a moment, waiting to see if 53NGW4N showed any signs of distress. However, 53NGW4N remained peaceful under her watch so J00HYN left to finally dock herself.

J00HYN was roused from sleep mode 142 hours later than usual. She had been allowed to remain unconscious through two entire shifts. The only notification in her system was to report to her handler’s office rather than heading out immediately on patrol, so the reason for the additional time was unclear. She got dressed, peering over her shoulder as she did to see if 53NGW4N was waiting for her. The other droid didn’t appear as expected, so she went to the neighboring dock with a frown.

Dock 77 was empty, save 53NGW4N’s uniform still hanging on the shelf. Perhaps 53NGW4N had been taken for adjustments or was assigned elsewhere. Whatever the case may be, she didn’t need to wait for the other droid. It was somewhat disappointing, however, as 53NGW4N’s presence had been a refreshing change to her normal routine.

She arrived at her handler’s office, announcing herself with a brief, “Excuse me.”

“Ah, Irene. Good.” Her handler ushered her inside. “Wendy, this is Irene. She will be your partner for your training.”

J00HYN followed her handler’s gaze to find the droid she’d been looking for before. She’d missed 53NGW4N’s presence in the room as she’d thought the other droid was elsewhere. 53NGW4N had been dressed in another flimsy white robe and looked as uncomfortable as she had last time. She held her arms tightly across her chest until she caught sight of J00HYN.

“Irene sunbaenim, it’s a pleasure to meet you!” Just as on their first meeting, she dipped into a deep bow.

“We’ve already met.” She looked from 53NGW4N to her handler in confusion. “Why doesn’t she recognize me?”

The handler looked unconcerned despite the evidence of a major systems failure. “Based on your report, the AI people did some adjustments to her programming. We can’t see how the new learning algorithms work unless we start from scratch--”

As he spoke, J00HYN openly stared at 53NGW4N who peered back timidly from under her bangs. There was no sign that she remembered J00HYN at all. Was she having some issues with data retrieval? Perhaps she needed further repair. She was a prototype after all; it wouldn’t be unheard of if there were still bugs in her system—

Her line of thought cut off abruptly as her handler continued speaking.

“So, Wendy’s data was wiped.”


	4. there's a bell in my ears

“Excuse me?”

Her handler seemed taken aback by her response. “Wendy’s data has been reset to factory settings. I wasn’t told the details of what was revised in the new version, so we’ll just have to see as we go.”

“Understood.” It was unideal, but an intended data loss was preferable to a bug.

She walked to 53NGW4N, prepared to lead the other android down to the charging docks for the second time. 53NGW4N bowed her head again, causing their handler to frown.

“I can’t believe they didn’t program out the bow,” he said.

“Should I not?” 53NGW4N responded, looking between J00HYN and the handler. But this time he didn’t bother to correct 53NGW4N, only shaking his head. J00HYN wasn’t bothered either way; she didn’t expect the gesture, nor did she feel the same unease their handler seemed to.

“You can write it in your report on 53NGW4N if it is bothersome.” For reasons J00HYN didn’t understand, he looked startled by her response. She ignored it. “Is there anything else you require? Or shall we begin our shift?”

“No, go ahead and get started. Don’t forget your report.”

“Understood.”

“So, we’ve worked together before, Irene sunbaenim?” 53NGW4N asked, her eyebrows furrowed together.

It didn’t matter which name 53NGW4N called her, but the name ‘Irene’ itched coming from her. “Call me J00HYN. I will call you 53NGW4N.”

“I suppose I told you my ID number last time?”

J00HYN nodded. “If you had a compatible data transfer connector, I could transfer you the data from our previous shift together so you would have full knowledge of your time working.”

“Oh.” Her eyebrows shot up, disappearing under her fringe. “That’d be good—I feel bad for asking you things I should already know.”

“It’s only to be expected, since you have none of the memories from before. However, it’s possible you’ve been fitted with a connector since I mentioned it in my report.”

“Oh, let’s check. How do we do that?”

J00HYN turned to 53NGW4N, who had been following close behind. The other droid didn’t seem to anticipate J00HYN stopping, and she had to catch 53NGW4N’s arm before they collided.

“I’m sor—” She stopped when J00HYN took her hand, eyes wide. Just as before, pink rushed into her cheeks as J00HYN aligned their fingers. The 53NGW4N in front of her was not the one she knew six days ago but seeing a pattern of consistent responses made her feel as though the two versions were continuous. It was oddly comforting.

Just as before, nothing happened when their fingertips met. There was only the warmth from 53NGW4N’s slightly higher operating temperature.

“It’d be in my hands?” 53NGW4N brought her hand up to her face after J00HYN dropped her arm, peering at it intently.

“In the fingers,” J00HYN affirmed. “The connections from the fingertips would need to be run along the arms to the motherboard. I imagine that this process takes at least a week for the engineers to perform, so it was a lapse of judgement to presume it might have been done.”

“That’s alright; that just means you’ll have to put up with my questions.”

J00HYN would’ve told 53NGW4N that she wasn’t ‘putting up’ with anything, but she had a sense that it wouldn’t change anything so instead she focused on taking 53NGW4N down to the charging docks to reacquaint her with them.

This time as they made their rounds, 53NGW4N was silent. Instead, J00HYN was constantly speaking, repeating what she had said previously to maintain consistency. To her lecture she added the information that 53NGW4N had asked for last time. Approximately 95% of the time J00HYN was about to give the additional information, 53NGW4N would swivel her head towards J00HYN with wide eyes and mouth already open, only to remain quiet and nod along as J00HYN continued speaking.

“How do you know what I’m going to ask before I ask it?” 53NGW4N asked when J00HYN finally wound down, having exhausted the relevant data partway through their second loop of the beat.

“We’ve done this before,” J00HYN reminded her. “I have all of the data from our previous meeting stored and can anticipate your questions.”

53NGW4N made an indecipherable face. “Isn’t that cheating?”

“How would that be cheating? This isn’t a test with correct answers.”

“It _is_ a test of me, though,” 53NGW4N pointed out. “Maybe my update means I would want to ask about different things this time around. That was the whole point, wasn’t it?”

J00HYN pressed her lips together. “It is not my fault if I am not well informed on the objectives of your training. I am a patrol droid, not a trainer.”

53NGW4N laughed. As she usually did when people laughed in her presence, J00HYN waited it out quietly. Normally when humans laughed around her, they either ignored her, or looked at her like she’d done something wrong. Every time 53NGW4N had laughed, the other droid didn’t give her disapproving looks. Instead, she smiled wide with her eyes curving into crescents like they did now. Whatever 53NGW4N meant seemed different.

“Why are you laughing?”

“What?” The smile didn’t leave 53NGW4N’s face, but it seemed kind when she caught J00HYN’s eye. “Your answer was surprisingly sassy.” She pursed her lips, tilting her head to the side when J00HYN didn’t respond with understanding. “It sounded like you were criticizing the department’s conduct in a way that I wasn’t expecting. It was funny.”

J00HYN had many questions but decided that she didn’t need to know exactly what was funny about criticism when 53NGW4N grinned at her again. Her response had been taken positively and J00HYN was beginning to think that she might have a preference for 53NGW4N’s laugh.

“But yeah, I don’t know what the update did so things might be different up there,” 53NGW4N said, tapping her temple with a finger. The grin was gone.

“You seemed to show an interest at similar timepoints the vast majority of the time today and responded positively to all of the additions I made to the information I provided you with previously,” J00HYN offered.

“So you’re saying that I’m probably very similar to how I was before.” She shrugged. “Makes sense; can’t test changes if you make too many adjustments.”

“Can you not tell the difference in your versions?”

“No. Can you?”

J00HYN nodded. “I can access my code if needed, although it’s in a read-only state.”

“They really went all out in trying to make me human like, huh?”

J00HYN waited for her to follow up on her statement, but 53NGW4N remained silent, looking down the road. She realized that she had been spending too much time looking at 53NGW4N instead of focusing on her work. With some reluctance, she turned her attention back on the crowded street in front of them until 53NGW4N finally spoke up again.

53NGW4N was frowning, her eyebrows scrunched together. “If you could hide your code so you didn’t know how you worked, would you?”

“No. Knowing what my programed objectives and priorities are means that I am consistent, and I can understand how my software leads to my actions.”

“Consistency is important in a droid,” 53NGW4N mused.

“If you are consistent, you are predictable,” J00HYN agreed.

“Hmm…” 53NGW4N continued to look pensive, but suddenly shook her head and looked over to J00HYN. “Sorry about that. It’s just kinda weird to think that we’ve done this before.”

“It is an unusual experience,” J00HYN allowed.

“Have you ever been reset?”

“No, I have not.”

“Just me, then.”

“At least, if I have, I wouldn’t have any knowledge of it.”

“Oh.” 53NGW4N’s face fell for a moment before rearranging into a more neutral expression. She looked away and nodded. This time when she fell silent, she remained silent for far longer. J00HYN concluded that the data loss was a source of distress but was at a loss as to what to do with the information. In the end, she remained quiet until 53NGW4N started up an entirely unrelated conversation.

“Irene.” The front desk attendant’s eyes flickered up just long enough to make sure she was authorized to pass before returning to her monitor.

“Yeojin-ssi,” J00HYN greeted her, dipping her head into a small bow as they passed. 53NGW4N did the same behind her.

The department was only dimly lit when they returned; their shift had ended after most employees had left the building. Even still, 53NGW4N leaned in and whispered when she asked, “Isn’t that kind of rude?”

“What?”

“Was the lady at the front desk your senior?”

This seemed to be a trend with 53NGW4N. J00HYN followed politeness customs because they were in her code; she’d never considered them for any length of time. 53NGW4N, on the other hand, seemed to treat the same gestures similar to a human, taking them as a symbol of respect.

“No; she has been here for approximately a year. However, it is simply common practice for humans to not follow such customs towards droids, nor droids to each other. However, it is best as a droid to show respect to humans.”

They reached the elevator. J00HYN stepped aside so 53NGW4N could enter first, her face twisted in thought.

“I just don’t get it,” she finally said when the doors closed. “Don’t you deserve the same kind of politeness? You’re here and doing your job like anyone else.”

It was hard to consider how to respond. She had never considered whether she’d even want these symbolic gestures shown to her. “We aren’t like humans, so there’s no need.”

“We have autonomy, though? We function independently.”

“But all of our decisions come from our programming. Our motivations and priorities. We are an extension of our programmers’ intentions.”

“But aren’t humans the same? They are constantly influenced by those around them and it is hardwired into the physical structure of their brain just as things are hardwired into our code.”

J00HYN stopped to think for a moment. The difference between humans and droids to her seemed an immutable fact; it seemed as strange to argue for as arguing water was wet. “Our patterns of behavior and thought can be changed with only a line of code. Everything that makes us up can be erased and replaced without any change in our physical form. We are entirely at the whim of our programmers and that’s what makes us different.”

53NGW4N took a moment to answer with only a soft “I see.” J00HYN could tell she had done something wrong. Perhaps it was insensitive of her to bring up data wipes.

They docked quietly, J00HYN guiding 53NGW4N through the process for the second time with a hushed voice. 53NGW4N didn’t ask her to wait, but she did so anyways. She watched until as 53NGW4N’s dock light finally began to fade in and out.

J00HYN woke up for her next shift with a vague sense of dread. It cleared upon seeing 53NGW4N waiting outside her dock, smoothing out her ruffled hair. 53NGW4N greeted her with a bow, though a slighter one than the previous day’s. As before, J00HYN didn’t bother to mention it. After their talk the previous day, 53NGW4N knew what she thought about the matter and had proceeded to perform the same niceties. J00HYN didn’t mind. In some ways, it was pleasant to see since she knew that for 53NGW4N it wasn’t a misdirected gesture, but a reflection of her regard for J00HYN.

53NGW4N fell into step behind J00HYN with an easy “Good morning” as they headed to the train station.

The day was bright without clouds, the sun blazing down in the gaps between high rises. Her eyes adjusted smoothly, but it was still disorienting after the darkness of the train. 53NGW4N winced as she emerged behind J00HYN, hand shielding her eyes.

“Is the light adapting uncomfortable? Do your eyes need adjusting?”

“What?” 53NGW4N dropped her hand, peering around at the bustling sidewalk. “No… I just don’t think I like sunlight all that much.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know… It’s too bright?”

J00HYN was only more baffled. “Are your eyes working properly? Perhaps something was improperly adjusted.”

53NGW4N only laughed. “No, no it’s fine. I’m just finding I prefer less sun. It’s a bit too bright and a bit too hot. At least we don’t sunburn.”

J00HYN tilted her head, looking over her partner. Her skin looked almost translucent in the direct light. Her cheeks held the faintest hint of pink, reminding J00HYN that she didn’t know much about 53NGW4N’s make. “Perhaps _you_ do. At least, something akin to a sunburn.”

53NGW4N groaned. “I would hope they’d still make sure my skin withstands normal Seoul summer weather conditions.” She sighed. “I want a long-sleeved shirt, then.”

“I could have given you one. I assumed the short-sleeved shirt would make more sense in July.”

53NGW4N only groaned again, but J00HYN took the accompanying smile to mean that her decision had been acceptable at the time.

“What do you do for fun?” J00HYN was beginning to realize that 53NGW4N was naturally talkative and liked to ask about things even if they weren’t relevant to their work. Even though she’d told 53NGW4N everything she’d deemed relevant and everything 53NGW4N had been curious about during their previous shift, 53NGW4N had kept up an easy conversation about things they’d passed and topics she was curious about. Apparently J00HYN’s preferences were one such thing.

“’For fun’?” J00HYN understood what fun was, at least in the abstract sense. However, she didn’t require recreation time, nor did her schedule permit it. She wasn’t sure how to answer.

“Yeah. What do you like to do?” 53NGW4N clarified.

“I am programmed to preferentially find patterns in novel stimuli,” she started slowly, looking over to 53NGW4N to see how the answer was received.

“Aren’t we all?” But the response was good natured. “But is anything particularly preferred? Anything you spend more time on, maybe?”

At this, something did come to mind. “The sky.”

“The sky?”

J00HYN nodded. “If there’s extra time in my schedule, I spend time looking at the sky. Particularly on clear days without smog.”

“Huh…”

She looked up, feeling somewhat uneasy after having admitted to the inefficiency. There were no clouds; only the deep blue of a midsummer’s day. “There is no concrete pattern, but the changes aren’t random, either. I think this makes it more difficult to generate predictions for, and therefore more interesting to the algorithm.” She paused. “I like the colors and the stars at night.”

When she looked back at 53NGW4N, she found that the other droid had taken to looking at the sky as well. They had both stopped at one point, forcing foot traffic to part around them as they stared upward.

She tapped on 53NGW4N’s shoulder, causing her to let out a surprised chuckle before following behind J00HYN again.

“I’ll have to remember to look up more,” she said with a cheerful tone. “It’s really pretty, isn’t it?”

They walked a bit further before 53NGW4N offered up her own answer. “I think I like music? I hear little bits from shops and things as we walk, but we don’t have time to stop. If we get a chance to, though, I’d like to stop and listen.”

“We should.” J00HYN thought over what 53NGW4N said as they continued their patrol, wondering if it was something she could facilitate.

There was a café that featured live music on certain days of the week. This piece of information had never proved relevant to her, and so she hadn’t mentioned it. But as with all other sensory information, the music was dutifully processed and stored in her memory for her to pull out now. She tugged 53NGW4N from the path they normally took to walk down a side street.

53NGW4N grinned when the music became audible. She kept their steady pace but turned to J00HYN with wide eyes.

“There’s not normally a need to walk down this street at this time,” J00HYN explained at the expression of interest, “but I thought it would be pleasant to rearrange our route.” She didn’t mention that it was something she indulged in on occasion.

“Can we stop and listen?” J00HYN didn’t think it was possible for 53NGW4N’s eyes to widen any further, but the smaller droid managed to defy her expectations.

“As long as we are within an acceptable margin of error for remaining in the area.” At that, 53NGW4N’s smile grew even bigger and, after taking a moment to stare at J00HYN, bounded off towards the café. J00HYN took her time following behind, content with how the music was already audible.

She settled in next to 53NGW4N, leaning against the short gate that enclosed the rare small patch of green in front of the door. J00HYN didn’t recognize the music, but enjoyed it nevertheless. As 53NGW4N had said earlier, it was rare for to catch more than a few measures of a song on patrol.

She turned to 53NGW4N to gauge her reaction. The other girl looked captivated, her mouth absently making a wide ‘o’ in her enthrallment. J00HYN knew that backlighting wasn’t a standard feature in droids, but she wouldn’t have guessed from the way 53NGW4N’s eyes seemed to glow.

She had lingered like this before on her own, taking in a particularly beautiful view of the sky before she needed to duck into a more sheltered side street, or even right here at the same fence. At those times, just as now, she calculated how long she could reasonably stay without risking completing her route in the allotted time. This was the first time she finished her calculations and found the amount of time disappointing.

They were able to stay through two songs, 53NGW4N’s gaze never leaving the stage that was visible through an open window. It seemed a shame to interrupt her enjoyment, but it was necessary.

She tapped the back of 53NGW4N’s arm lightly, hand closing instinctively around it in surprise when 53NGW4N turned quickly.

“We need to move on.”

“Right.” 53NGW4N took one last look back at the cafe before dropping her hold on the fence. Her grin when see looked up at J00HYN was blinding. “Thanks.” She didn’t remove her arm from J00HYN’s grasp, so J00HYN used it to steer 53NGW4N from the back road to their scheduled patrol. 

Despite J00HYN having to take them away so soon, 53NGW4N’s face remained bright for the rest of the shift. She imagined that maybe it made up for her insensitive comments from the day before.

And to be honest, she was glad to have created the opportunity to see the soft expression on 53NGW4N. It suited her.

When she woke up for her next shift, her eyes instantly fell on the glass wall of her dock. There was no one there. She pulled on her uniform, eyes flickering over to the glass door every few seconds. 53NGW4N didn’t show up by the time she was ready to leave, and J00HYN had to conclude that the other droid wouldn’t be showing up today.

It was the third time entering her handler’s office and meeting 53NGW4N in the thin white robe. The third deep bow as their handler introduced J00HYN.

She recalled 53NGW4N’s concerns about politeness and caught her eye as the other droid came out of her bow. “I look forward to working with you. You can call me J00HYN.”

She was rewarded with a warm smile that wiped away the discomfort on 53NGW4N’s face. She’d finally made the right choice. “Then you should call me 53NGW4N.”

“You call each other by ID number?”

J00HYN ignored the surprised outburst again as she turned to him. She’d never manage to shock him as often as she did once 53NGW4N had become her responsibility. “Should we head out to our shift?”

He sighed, shaking his head before waving them off. “Just keep putting together the usual reports.”

For the third time, she walked 53NGW4N to the charging dock. She remembered to find a long-sleeved shirt from the supply closet to replace the older shirt.

“We’ve done this before, J00HYN-ssi?” 53NGW4N asked, just like she had two shifts prior.

“This is the third time.” She thought about 53NGW4N worrying about being reset. She thought about standing outside the café together, the heat from 53NGW4N’s arm next to hers discernable from the summer warmth. This 53NGW4N wasn’t that one.

“Please forgive me if I cause you to repeat things you’ve already told me. I’m sure it’ll get annoying.” This 53NGW4N wasn’t much different.

“There is no need to apologize. It is not your fault.” J00HYN knew she wouldn’t accept it.

“Still, I appreciate your patience.”

J00HYN hadn’t felt this impossible contradiction of pleased and disappointment before now.

\--

It seemed like the engineers were taking 53NGW4N back to fiddle with their algorithms every few days. However, as time went on, 53NGW4N was left to run for longer lengths of time. J00HYN imagined that they were homing in on the functionality they wanted to see in 53NGW4N and needed to see how the algorithms played out in the long term. The last reset had been the first time 53NGW4N had been with her a full week.

At this point, J00HYN had a routine for reset days. At one point, general information on charging had been added into 53NGW4N’s system so she no longer needed to show her around before their first shift. She always greeted 53NGW4N —their handler had given up being surprised—and retrieved a long-sleeved uniform that the AI department never bothered to supply her.

The first day was always giving 53NGW4N a tour around the beat. At the second version 53NGW4N’s words, she took out the additional information she’d added. Instead, she only gave her original spiel, answering 53NGW4N’s questions as they came. For a human, she could imagine the repetition becoming tiring. However, in this way, any and all differences in 53NGW4N’s behavior were highlighted. She could see how the AI department had changed 53NGW4N from each question not asked and each question added. And besides, she was happy to capture each version of 53NGW4N.

Even with all the changes, J00HYN found that many things stayed the same. 53NGW4N was always polite to anyone she met, droid or not. She was kind, her words thoughtful.

Lately as they made their rounds, J00HYN started to keep track of the places that played music loud enough for them to hear outside. It wasn’t always the case that resets lined up with the live evening shows, but J00HYN was determined to make sure to find a moment for 53NGW4N to listen to music on the first day after a rest. It was irrational, but she wanted to make sure that each version of 53NGW4N would experience that same joy. Seeing 53NGW4N’s face fall open into that soft wonderment for the first time was an experience she was happy to see again and again.


	5. drop a bell down the stairs

It was exactly the situation they were never supposed to be in. J00HYN had received a report of a gunshot in a residential area, which was particularly alarming since storage of firearms in homes was illegal. J00HYN had been given orders to make the situation their priority, and so she and 53NGW4N had made their way to the apartment that the report had originated from.

This 53NGW4N had been present for three weeks, one of the longer stretches yet. J00HYN found that while 53NGW4N always started off gregarious and bright, the longer she wasn’t reset, the quieter she got. It wasn’t necessarily a bad quiet. There was a difference in the quality of the silence in walking alongside a contemplative 53NGW4N versus another droid where there was simply no information to exchange. The absence of speech shouldn’t be any different from situation to situation, but J00HYN had been forced to set aside the nature of this mysterious contrast as an ongoing issue.

53NGW4N was quiet now, both of them standing in 53NGW4N’s dock at the end of the disastrous shift. The gunshot had ended up turning into a hostage situation and 53NGW4N had thrown herself in the way of a gunshot when no other option had presented itself. It was reminiscent of what had happened on their first day together and 53NGW4N still didn’t have permissions to override pain signals. J00HYN was the only one strong enough to carry the unexpectedly powered down droid off the scene.

When they arrived at the department, she had waited for 53NGW4N to return from repairs. If she had entered sleep mode, she wouldn’t have remained in her state of unrest. She wouldn’t have felt the passage of time between handing 53NGW4N off to the droid engineers and finding her waiting for the start of their next shift.

She hadn’t been able to bring herself to dock before seeing the other girl repaired and whole.

Now, she had slotted herself in the space between 53NGW4N and the dock’s shelf, 53NGW4N’s hand in hers. It was like her data access process had a glitch, past sensory data being pulled to her awareness over and over. The warmth of 53NGW4N’s hand was reassuring, chasing away the memory of the cold chassis she had clutched in the back of the police car.

53NGW4N’s grip tightened, and J00HYN looked over to her. “Are you alright?”

53NGW4N shrugged despite the worry on her face being clear enough for even J00HYN to read. “I was just thinking about data resets.”

“Why?”

“I woke up in the work room just like when I… or…” She caught J00HYN’s eye for a moment before sighing and looking away again. “Or I guess a version of me…? That’s where I was when I first booted up. And I was thinking, I could have been reset right then and woken up with no memories. I’m just…” She laughed. It was a laugh that J00HYN hadn’t seen before, where 53NGW4N looked like she was in pain. “I’m not a fan of the idea of being reset.”

J00HYN wasn’t ‘a fan’ of 53NGW4N being reset either. She was starting to find the days where 53NGW4N wasn’t waiting for her burdensome. Moreover, 53NGW4N knew she was incrementally different in the hypothetical. But J00HYN faced each update of 53NGW4N alone, file after file of data on each version stored in her data banks to compare. It was her job, in fact.

“You don’t retain any knowledge of the reset, though,” was what she found herself saying. 53NGW4N didn’t seem to catch the edge in J00HYN’s response. She wouldn’t; 53NGW4N had only known her for a few weeks.

“I don’t, but any time I make a mistake, I might be powering down for the final time as me. The 53NGW4N that comes back won’t know that she’s missing data, but I have to face the fact that I will be erased. Likely sooner than later.”

J00HYN couldn’t think of anything reassuring to say. What would she say to 53NGW4N when she couldn’t find a way to quiet her own irrational concerns? For a moment, neither of them spoke. J00HYN imagined 53NGW4N waking up alone in the workshop, clad in only a thin white repair robe on a cold workstation. She recalled the cold body in her arms for the hundredth time. 53NGW4N swung their clasped hands back and forth, staring at her feet. 

“Are there more of your model?” 53NGW4N asked.

J00HYN wasn’t sure how the question related to their conversation. She replied slowly, still stuck in her forced memory reply. “There are 33 J00-H still functioning.”

“I was just thinking…” 53NGW4N stilled her arm, bringing their clasped hands to a stop between them. “Right now, I’m the only 53NG model. But if there were others, then when I’m reset, my consciousness would be exactly the same as all those other droids. The only thing that would distinguish me from them would be the different physical features.”

“Does it matter?” It made sense as a future possibility. But right now, the 53NGW4N J00HYN was concerned about was here.

“Are you like the other J00-H models?”

Another sharp turn in the conversation. “Yes.”

“No, I mean… would you make the exact same decisions as them?”

“No. I have different experiences and different data points influencing my decision-making process. It’s inevitable that droids develop this idiosyncrasy over time.”

53NGW4N nodded her head as she quoted the common saying in droid AI. “‘The older the droid, the more idiosyncratic’….”

“Yes.”

“Would you want to be like the other J00-H models? Would you want to go back to the J00-H you were at start up?”

She was beginning to see the direction 53NGW4N was going in. Even so, she wasn’t sure what else to say but the truth. “My opinion is irrelevant. I wouldn’t know any different if I were reset.”

53NGW4N sighed, and J00HYN felt a stab of regret. Her answer must have been wrong in some way. Then 53NGW4N laughed for some reason inscrutable to J00HYN. She still wasn’t smiling. “Perhaps it’s irrational, but I want the chance to develop those idiosyncrasies too. I want to be able to become my own self.”

“…I see.”

53NGW4N only laughed again, squeezing J00HYN’s hand once more before stepping from the wall towards her charging station. “There’s nothing we can do, right? So it’s okay. We should start charging so we’re topped off for the next shift.”

“Okay.”

53NGW4N waved at her, stepping on the charging station as J00HYN exited the dock. J00HYN waited until 53NGW4N’s eyes closed before leaving. 53NGW4N had said things were alright, and it was irrational to be concerned with a state of affairs they had no ability to change. But she still felt unsettled.

53NGW4N was reset again. J00HYN greeted her again, showed her around again, answered her questions again.

It was curious that they kept returning her to J00HYN, who now had quite a large library of data on 53NGW4N, if the point was to start 53NGW4N’s learning algorithms from ground zero each time. She’d been keeping the information to herself unless 53NGW4N directly asked, but she could just as easily make the mistake she had with the second version of 53NGW4N. Even so, she knew 53NGW4N and interacted with each version with that familiarity. Wasn’t it problematic that she came to each version with expectations and established patterns of interaction?

She hoped no one came to the same conclusion she had. It was possible that 53NGW4N could be placed with another droid, but that would mean that she would be in different situations with each update which would muddy the outcome of any code changes. The easier option would be to reset the well-understood droid alongside the prototype.

Just as she’d said before, she wouldn’t know otherwise if her data was wiped. But in considering the possibility, she got a glimpse of the fear that every iteration of 53NGW4N expressed. 

\--

“This is Marie; ID J00Y0N,” J00HYN explained, raising her hands palms out towards the other droid. She received strange looks from both Marie and 53NGW4N. Marie’s frown deepened as 53NGW4N dipped into a bow and introduced herself as Wendy. However, it disappeared as the data transfer completed, J00HYN having tagged a selective file of information on 53NGW4N, including her lack of data transfer hardware, for transfer.

53NGW4N, on the other hand, was still staring to where J00HYN’s hands were pressed against Marie’s. Seeing this, J00HYN let the connection drop, reaching out to grab hold of 53NGW4N’s arm. The smaller droid let herself be pulled along easily, flashing a friendly smile to their new partner for the time being.

With a quick glance towards J00HYN, Marie said, “I will be joining you and Irene for approximately a week due to information that leads us to believe that parts looters have expanded into my normal patrol area.”

“Oh, I see,” 53NGW4N responded with an easy nod, only causing Marie’s frown to return. “I wonder why you’ve been placed with us…”

“I have not been made privy to that information.”

“Marie’s patrol neighbors ours,” J00HYUN stepped in. Marie only looked more baffled, and it struck J00HYN then just how much she’d adapted over the past months to accommodate 53NGW4N. It seemed strange to her now that Marie hadn’t even offered an explanation. Yet, Marie had only spoken information that was strictly factual which J00HYN herself would’ve found no fault with previously. To introduce inference was to introduce potential misinformation.

“It’ll be safer for us to travel as a group of three, then,” 53NGW4N responded. “At least, I feel better doing so, knowing about the looters.”

“Have you recently had a check in with the AI department?” Marie asked. 53NGW4N’s eyes widened at the abrupt question, and J00HYN found herself intervening once more.

“If there are droid looters potentially in the area, it would wiser to travel in a group regardless of the department’s intentions of assigning you to our beat. This is a reasonable deduction.”

Marie didn’t respond, although she turned to 53NGW4N who seemed similarly bewildered. Looking between the two of them, J00HYN realized that this was likely to be an ongoing pattern for their time together. She wasn’t sure that she was adequately equipped to serve as a bridge for communication, and yet she had no other choice but to try.

“We should begin our shift,” she said, turning to leave the room.

“Why are you still holding Wendy’s arm, Irene?” Marie asked.

J00HYN hadn’t noticed that her hand was still settled in the crook of 53NGW4N’s arm, the gesture having become habit. The only answer she had was that she wanted to keep track of where 53NGW4N was, finding herself irrationally alarmed when the smaller droid wasn’t nearby after the incident with the last version of 53NGW4N. But since that would imply that the younger droid was untrustworthy, she simply dropped her arm. She knew Marie wouldn’t comment; if it were relevant to their objective, J00HYN would have explained and if it wasn’t, it was irrelevant to Marie. She didn’t, however, anticipate 53NGW4N’s reaction.

“Is there a problem?” 53NGW4N frowned as she looked between the two J00 model droids.

“I simply had not noticed that I was still holding on,” J00HYN said. Let Marie decide the fault was with J00HYN; she could report for a check in with the AI department and the matter would become a non-issue.

“But…” J00HYN wasn’t sure what 53NGW4N was thinking. She hadn’t lied, although she had omitted that the heart of the reason was her unnecessary preference for 53NGW4N to remain close by. If it were J00HYN in the same situation, she would have pointed out the potential error in case repair was needed. 53NGW4N simply took another glance at Marie and stepped to the side so that the distance between her and J00HYN mirrored that between J00HYN and Marie.

“Let’s get started,” 53NGW4N said with a smile

It was the first time any version of 53NGW4N had worked with another droid that wasn’t J00HYN. J00HYN saw 53NGW4N taking surreptitious glances at Marie throughout their first shift, her expression thoughtful. J00HYN supposed it might be strange for 53NGW4N since she and Marie were the same model. They had an identical build due to the same underlying skeletal structure. They had the same underlying programming, the only difference being the data they had both accumulated over the past three years since the J00 line was released. Aesthetically, Marie differed in that she had shorter, auburn hair that curled over her shoulders and grey eyes. However, J00HYN knew that, despite these differences, when standing side by side, they could be mistaken for sisters, if not twins. They even had the same vocal files.

J00HYN had never considered the similarities between her and other droids of her make particularly unsettling. It only made sense as it was more efficient to produce droids that could use the same parts and had compatible software.

“What do you like about your job?” she heard 53NGW4N ask Marie.

“’Like’?” Marie replied, the confusion in her voice palpable.

“Is there any part you, um… Have a preference for?”

“It would be inefficient to have a preference for one aspect of my job over another.”

“So, nothing then…?”

J00HYN thought she might find it unsettling now, listening to Marie reply in the negative and turn her head away from 53NGW4N silently.

Marie’s dock was on the second basement level, so J00HYN and 53NGW4N were left alone at the end of their shift. After Marie left, J00HYN reached out to take 53NGW4N’s arm. At her touch, 53NGW4N closed the now unusual distance between them and caught her eye with a smile. J00HYN found the warmth where their arms touched comforting.

“Marie sunbaenim’s the same model as you, right?” 53NGW4N asked as they existed the elevator. “I thought you two would be more similar, but…”

“But?”

“You two seem so different. It’s hard to imagine that you even started out with the same programming.”

J00HYN paused, thinking back on Marie’s responses to 53NGW4N over the course of the day compared to her numerous first meetings with 53NGW4N. She knew in the hypothetical that time had made her decision making and reactions diverge from other J00 models. Yet it had never seemed such a stark difference until she watched Marie interact with 53NGW4N.

But then again, the last time she’d worked alongside another J00 model, she hadn’t known 53NGW4N.

She wasn’t sure if the past months’ change were a negative, as Marie’s reactions seemed to imply, or a positive. Regardless, she supposed it was for the best that she planned on making a check in with the AI department soon.

“It’s inevitable to collect idiosyncrasies over time,” she finally said.

“Sure but…” They had reached 53NGW4N’s dock, but J00HYN had no particular desire to rush and 53NGW4N seemed to still be thinking. “I guess I wasn’t expecting it to that extent.” She paused. “Is that how long it takes…?’

53NGW4N’s voice had lowered, her gaze on an indeterminate point in the distance. J00HYN suspected she wasn’t looking for an answer. “It depends on the experiences one encounters,” she offered anyways.

She got a smile in response, 53NGW4N nudging J00HYN with her shoulder before gently extracting her arm from J00HYN’s hold. “See you tomorrow.”

“Good night.” She waited until 53NGW4N’s light began pulsing in and out with sleep.

53NGW4N had spotted them first, cutting off her awkward attempts to talk with Marie. A week in, and 53NGW4N hadn’t given up despite her lack of success in roping Marie into a conversation. J00HYN simply watched impassively, trailing a step behind the other two. It was strange to her to see Marie, who by any account should be similar to J00HYN, rebuke each topic posed systematically. She didn’t remember being so reticent.

“The looters,” 53NGW4N whispered, reaching a hand back towards J00HYN. J00HYN moved forward at the gesture to settle in at 53NGW4N’s shoulder. She followed 53NGW4N’s gaze down the alley to their left, catching a hint of movement.

“I’ll call for back up,” Marie said, moving back from the alley’s entrance.

“That’ll take too long. We will lose track of them,” J00HYN protested, although she remained still. Handling cases of part looting was expressly against regulations, but even though she routinely flouted regulations, this was one she knew to not break. Marie didn’t even respond, already making the call.

However, 53NGW4N darted forward before either of the older droids could react.

“53NGW4N,” she hissed. Marie looked to J00HYN, an appalled look on her face. 53NGW4N turned back to look at them both over her shoulder, eyebrows raised, but didn’t stop. As she turned the corner, J00HYN reluctantly pushed past Marie to follow. It was safer if they were in a pair, regardless of how blatantly they were breaking rules. “Stay here.”

“Irene—” Marie reached out to grab J00HYN’s arm but stopped before she made contact.

“Just get us back up,” J00HYN said and followed off after 53NGW4N.

She turned the corner after 53NGW4N just in time to hear her shout, “Police!” Just beyond 53NGW4N, she saw the two looters, face masks and lowered hat brims obscuring their faces. She could see the shape of a body held between the two of them.

She watched as the two figures looked at each other before promptly dumping the body to the side and dashing away.

“Don’t,” J00HYN said, grabbing onto 53NGW4N’s sleeve before she could move. 53NGW4N sighed, turning around with a rueful expression. “You know we are not supposed to handle crimes involving droids.”

“I’m sorry,” she replied. “I just saw them, and…”

J00HYN didn’t say that flouting regulations would likely be likely grounds for being reset but thought it grimly as 53NGW4N bend over to inspect the discarded droid.

The droid looked like a cleaning model, limbs articulated just enough to handle its chores rather than the care taken with the J00 and 53NG models. Its limbs were in disarray, the ligament system clearly broken. It could only move its neck to look at them from its sprawled jumble on the ground.

Marie turned the corner as 53NGW4N asked it, “What’s your name?” But there was no response from the droid.

“I requested back up. Do you have information on the looters?” Marie asked.

“They left down that alley.” She held out a hand, and Marie touched their fingers together to get the data update.

“We need to get the droid back to the department,” Marie said when she dropped her hand from J00HYN's. She crouched down next to 53NGW4N, who was still speaking ineffectually to the droid, and lifted it on her shoulder. The sight of the droid’s arms dangling limply down Marie’s back was pitiful.

“They might be hurt,” 53NGW4N protested, standing up as Marie did with a grimace on her face. “Here, I’ll carry them.”

“Why would it be in pain?” Marie asked. J00HYN realized Marie wasn’t connecting her knowledge of 53NGW4N’s inability to modulate her pain responses to her current concern.

“They can’t speak and let us know if they are. I was trying to get information, but…”

“That simply means it needs repairs. Its owner can handle that when they retrieve it.”

Even J00HYN could see the miscommunication as they continued to argue. However, she couldn’t figure out how to solve the issue despite seeing both 53NGW4N’s and Marie’s point of view. Pain was a temporary experience, important only as signal and meaningless in the long term. And even if the droid were in pain, returning them to the station quickly would be the most prudent course of action.

But then she thought about 53NGW4N in pain, carrying the discomfort with her until she was repaired. J00HYN didn’t know what it would be like to feel the pain of every limb torn from her torso without being able to dismiss it, or even able to give voice to it.

It sounded unbearable.

J00HYN stepped into the ongoing discussion, interrupting Marie in her abruptness. “Let 53NGW4N carry them. We need to return to the station.”

While Marie looked at her askance, she conceded to J00HYN’s authority in her own jurisdiction and lifted the droid from her shoulders to pass to 53NGW4N. 53NGW4N took the droid carefully, arranging their limbs in her arms so each was supported.

“We’ll take you back to the station so your owner can claim you,” she heard 53NGW4N tell them as they left the alley back towards the main roads. “We’ll retrieve your info there and contact them and hopefully we can get you repaired soon.”

The droid couldn’t talk or move and had no way to ask what had happened to them or what was going to happen to them. 53NGW4N had realized the distress this would cause when neither J00HYN and Marie had. J00HYN lacked the empathy 53NGW4N had.

It was decidedly a weakness on her part, J00HYN thought, watching 53NGW4N strap the droid into the police car that arrived and Marie relaying their update to the officers who had just arrived. She wondered what else she had missed in the past without this empathetic insight.

53NGW4N was the one to take the droid to be processed as lost goods while J00HYN was the one who was scolded by their handler and sent to the AI department for a re-tune. However, thanks to the data they collected, the looters were found so Marie could return to her patrol and J00HYN and 53NGW4N didn't need to be relocated.

When J00HYN came back from her recalibration, she found 53NGW4N waiting for her outside her pod. She was glad to have caught her; she didn’t expect this version of 53NGW4N to be here when they rebooted. Disobeying rules regarding droids parts looters would be considered a major software failure.

“I’m glad that’s over with,” 53NGW4N said when she saw J00HYN approach. “The engineering department was able to retrieve the info they needed so the droid will be back on her way home this evening.”

“A good outcome.” J00HYN took the moment to fix this version of 53NGW4N in her databanks, a version that acted with empathy and compassion first. She hoped the new version wouldn’t lose this feature.

“It’ll be nice to get back to patrolling with just the two of us.”

The sentiment surprised J00HYN. “Did you not enjoy talking to Marie?”

53NGW4N entwined her fingers, looking down at them with a frown. “I don’t want to be… negative towards Marie. But… It was tiring, I guess. It’s hard to talk with someone who isn’t willing to meet you partway, you know?” J00HYN thought back on their past patrols and felt like she understood, at least a bit. 

53NGW4N moved forward, taking J00HYN’s hand in hers. J00HYN was always the one to initiate contact between the two of them but hadn’t for their time patrolling together with Marie after that first day. Irrationally, it felt as though the previous data of 53NGW4N’s higher operating temperature had been erased, the warmth more comforting than she remembered after its absence.

“I’m glad you’re you,” 53NGW4N told her, squeezing her hand tightly. “I’m glad I’ve gotten to know you.”

“I feel the same.” Despite the irrationality and inconsistency 53NGW4N had introduced into her life, the words were entirely truthful. “Your presence is greatly enriching.”

53NGW4N grinned widely, and J00HYN thought she’d never seen a more beautiful smile.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

J00HYN couldn’t bring herself to reply but clasped her hands together to catch the remaining heat when 53NGW4N left go to dock. She waited for the sleep indicator as always before dragging her feet to her pod. Being reluctant to sleep was a new experience for her.

As predicted, 53NGW4N wasn’t at her dock for their next shift. J00HYN reported in at her handler’s office as usual, bracing herself to start over yet again.

“It’s nice to meet you, Irene sunbaenim,” 53NGW4N greeted her with a small wave. No bow.

“You can call me J00HYN” fell out of her mouth by habit, part of her system working even if she felt inexplicably frozen. “I look forward to working with you.”

That evening, she felt lost as she approached her daily report on the other droid. With the stark evidence of the AI engineers at work, she felt dread at the prospect of writing anything that would signal that a change needed to be made to 53NGW4N’s programming. Before this year, dread had been a hypothetical to her. At some point, when it came to 53NGW4N, the other droid’s wellbeing had become a higher priority than her job performance.

It was an unsettling state of affairs.

\--

Four weeks in. It was currently the record for the longest period they’d had together. At the two week mark, 53NGW4N became quiet. Soon after, she was amenable to J00HYN habitually linking their arms together. By week three, she was back to rambling, even if it wasn’t as optimistically cheerful. Every time they hit a new length of time together, it meant that there would be something new to learn about 53NGW4N. That they were past the reiterations. It was a threshold J00HYN always looked forward to.

They were on patrol, J00HYN’s hands clasped together over 53NGW4N’s forearm, when she heard a beautiful song from a surprising closeness. They weren’t in an area that typically had audible music. She looked to 53NGW4N to see her reaction only to be shocked.

“What are you doing?”

The song stopped abruptly, 53NGW4N’s eyebrows flying upward. “I’m just humming…? I had to entertain myself while waiting for you to get repaired the other day.” Even though the most reasonable thing to do would be to immediately charge when they returned, J00HYN had been greeted by the other girl on her return. 53NGW4N always waited for her even when J00HYN told her that there was no need. She couldn’t exactly scold 53NGW4N for it when she did the exact same thing.

“But how are you doing it?” Droids weren’t equipped with a physical means of producing sound like a human’s larynx; instead they were given a set of vocal sounds and the means to place them together and manipulate the pitch contours when needed. Models like J00HYN tended to have particularly flat pitch; she mostly used her ability to manipulate her voice recordings in order to indicate questions. She’d never heard any droids attempt to sing. However, 53NGW4N was already far more human-like in her expression of emotion by changing her pitch and cadence as she spoke, which was perhaps why she’d managed to learn the skill.

“I just tried to replicate some of the patterns we’ve heard,” she replied with an easy shrug.

“Why?”

“I mean, if I can figure out singing, then it’s like being able to take the music with you.” She placed a finger over her lips thoughtfully. “Plus, you get to make the patterns yourself, only with your own sounds.” Her eyes brightened. “I made my own song. Wanna hear?”

“Yes.”

She started singing and J00HYN found herself slowing down to a full stop. 53NGW4N was looking off into the distance, likely only remaining still due to the pressure of J00HYN’s hand.

J00HYN was utterly entranced. It was still obviously 53NGW4N’s normal voice files, but she’d managed to manipulate them to create a natural, soulful sound. The song was short, and J00HYN found herself wishing it’d been longer. She flagged the memory recording so it was easily searchable for the future.

When she had finished, 53NGW4N’s self-consciousness seemed to flood back in. J00HYN caught a glimpse of pink cheeks before 53NGW4N bent her head down and her hair covered her face from view.

“Th- that’s all!” she said, punctuating her sentence with an awkward chuckle.

“It was beautiful.”

53NGW4N peeked out from under her bangs. “Really? I was just... playing around...”

J00HYN wasn’t sure what to say, so she simply repeated herself, adding a nod and tightening her grip around 53NGW4N’s elbow.

“I’d say you were just trying to be polite, but you don’t do that... So, um, thanks.”

Her voice was still small, but she’d shaken her hair back from her face and fell into step with J00HYN, so J00HYN decided that all was well.

\--

“J00HYN!”

J00HYN heard 53NGW4N’s yell, but she also knew that unless she stayed at her current speed, the criminal they were chasing would reach an intersection that would allow for multiple routes of escape. Backup was on the way, but not fast enough.

She darted into the street as their target had, trying to shave off seconds that could lead to her losing sight of them.

“J—”

There was a sickening crunch as a truck ran into her.

She was flung to the pavement, left leg and arm crushed by the tires. The truck didn’t stop. It was fortunate that she wasn’t human.

There was a millisecond of immense pain before J00HYN dismissed the notifications. Her arm and leg were entirely unfunctional. 53NGW4N was there a second later, wrapping her arm around J00HYN’s shoulders and pulling her to the side of the road.

“Are you okay?” The pitch of her voice was frantic, hands skittering over J00HYN’s broken arm. She couldn’t feel it; the sensory wires must’ve been disconnected.

“I am alright. Go.” 53NGW4N lingered, a grimace still on her face. It was unlikely that they could catch up to the suspect at this rate, but one of them needed to try, and it couldn’t be J00HYN. At least they could pass on the information to the officers on their way.

“Wendy.” It was the first time she’d ever directly referred to 53NGW4N—_any_ version of 53NGW4N-- with her given name, and it got the attention she’d intended. The other droid’s gaze stopped wandering over J00HYN’s damaged limbs, snapping to her eyes instead. “Go. Try the first alley off the right turn.”

“Understood,” she responded, uncharacteristically terse before turning heel and making for the road they’d seen the target go down.

The exchange left J00HYN feeling somewhat uneasy, but things were out of her hands now. She busied herself with putting in a damage notification to the department so someone could pick her up. She hoped someone would be available soon; this was an area that was particularly full of droid parts looters and her damaged limbs made her an obvious target. While she had her taser, her immobility made her feel vulnerable.

In the meantime, she took stock of her injuries. The skin had been pulled loose from the metal chassis, punctured in places from jagged edges protruding from underneath. The casing of her forearm had been flattened, breaking apart on the side. Running her functional hand along it, she found that, as she suspected, she had no mobility or sensation below the damage.

Her leg was in a similar condition. She could feel the sidewalk under her leg, but not her fingers running along the top. Only part of the large map of wires underneath had been severed. It was still immobile, unfortunately.

This mess would take ages to repair. Rewiring the sensory network alone was incredibly time consuming. Thanks to her too narrowed focus, she was going to be out of commission for quite a while.

What would happen to 53NGW4N? Would she take over for J00HYN? This version was at the five-week mark, which was more than enough training for her to take over patrol work. Or maybe by convincing 53NGW4N to pursue, she’d just caused 53NGW4N to need to be reset. The proper procedure in these situations was to call for back up and wait for their arrival. Particularly for droids. She’d done this many times in the past without receiving reprimand, despite the regulations. She suspected that her handler preferred for her, a repairable droid, to deal with situations before human officers could be at risk rather than worrying about her going off the rails and injuring a suspect. 53NGW4N likely wouldn’t be shown the same leniency.

Before she could think over the situation much further, a police car rolled up to the curb.

“Irene!” 53NGW4N got out of the car, a wide grin on her face. “I was so worried—but we got her. You guessed exactly right!”

“It is the more enclosed path of the options available,” J00HYN started explaining, but stopped when 53NGW4N just kept smiling, the corners of her mouth held up rigidly.

“Let’s get you back and fixed up, okay?” She snaked an arm under J00HYN’s functioning one, lifting J00HYN to a standing position. Without faltering, she leaned in close so J00HYN could use her as leverage to hop towards the open car door. Once there, she maneuvered J00HYN so that she could lean against the car and got in first. “C’mon.”

She reached out her arms and took J00HYN’s weight as J00HYN more or else fell into the car, not able to do much better as the door was on her injured side. 53NGW4N bore the impact with ease, pulling her into the seat and buckling her in. She flashed one last worried smile at J00HYN, before turning towards the front of the car as the officer in the front seat would suspect.

She didn’t realize until 53NGW4N moved to unbuckle her that she’d been holding J00HYN’s injured hand for the entire ride back.

Two weeks had passed between the time she’d reported for repairs and her next shift. Partway through dressing, 53NGW4N had already appeared outside her dock. Her hair and uniform were both in disarray, as though she’d rushed to get dressed. Instead of waiting patiently outside as usual, she bounded past the entrance of the dock, stopping just inside the door. While J00HYN finished dressing, 53NGW4N shifted her weight back and forth, fingers tightly knitted together.

“53NGW4N?”

“It’s still you. Thank goodness.” She remained in place, eyes trained on J00HYN’s face.

She didn’t seem ready to move, so J00HYN stepped forward to tidy 53NGW4N’s mussed hair. 53NGW4N still didn’t speak, so she moved on to 53NGW4N’s uniform, pulling her shirt to settle it properly over 53NGW4N’s shoulders.

“We should go,” she started gently.

This seemed to snap 53NGW4N out of whatever daze she’d fallen into. “Yes… I just… I thought you might’ve been reset.”

“No; I have too much idiosyncratic data for my beat to make a full reset worthwhile.”

“Don’t they keep a copy of your data?”

“Not for older models; it would take up too much storage. They keep the base software on hand for each model.” She looped her arm around 53NGW4N’s, pulling her towards the door. 53NGW4N followed her absently, gaze on the floor in front of them.

“So, if for some reason you were reset… you’d just be gone.” Her voice was low. J00HYN could just barely make out the words.

“They do not typically reset standard models like me. The AI department simply does a minor software change if needed or we are retired from service.” They had reached the elevator; she pressed the button before taking the moment to turn towards 53NGW4N. “Your situation is rare; you experience the resets due to being a prototype.”

The elevator came, but when J00HYN stepped forward, 53NGW4N didn’t.

“But if you were reset, no one would have your data.” 53NGW4N’s eyes finally met hers again. “I can’t even hold on to the data I collect each time.”

“Your data is likely held in the AI department to monitor your changes with each update.”

“Then I’m more likely to be able to be restored than you.” She grimaced. “And that’d only be the snippets of the time we’ve spent together. Which isn’t much.”

“We’ve been working together for 6 months and two weeks.”

“15% of your total active time.” J00HYN didn’t comment and 53NGW4N shook her head, pressing the button to recall the elevator. “Just… please take care of yourself? Maybe it’s presumptuous of me to ask as your junior, but…”

“I will.” This time when J00HYN moved towards the open doors, 53NGW4N followed without resistance. Her weight pressed into J00HYN’s shoulder for the brief duration of the elevator ride. It was a quiet shift.

\--

“If it weren’t for you, all knowledge of my previous selves would just be gone.”

“They have copies of your old versions in the AI department.” It was now the third time she’d told 53NGW4N this; the first time for this version of 53NGW4N.

53NGW4N didn’t respond, looking down at her hands. By now, J00HYN knew that the information wouldn’t reassure 53NGW4N.

“I will retain the memories of your previous selves,” she said instead, as though the data of days with 53NGW4N weren’t already set apart, kept in full quality and marked protected in her mind. When 53NGW4N didn’t look up at her, she wrapped an arm around the smaller droid’s shoulders. 53NGW4N turned and buried her face in J00HYN’s shirt, hands clutching at the fabric.

This 53NGW4N wasn’t afraid of J00HYN’s data being lost. It was bittersweet to be able to provide comfort because of that. “I will retain them for as long as I am able,” she repeated. “I don’t know how long that will be, but I will keep them for you.”

“Do I seem like before? Am I like myself?” The question was muffled. It was a bit of a nonsensical question. J00HYN’s first instinct was to respond with a simple affirmative. It was impossible for 53NGW4N to be anything other than ‘like herself’. However, she could see that 53NGW4N wanted a qualitative response. She was familiar with the ways 53NGW4N said one thing while requesting another.

“Yes,” she responded firmly. “Every first meeting I recognize you. I find that your behaviors seem to have a consistent set of concerns and motivations.”

“I… That’s comforting.”

They should’ve moved to redock. Instead, J00HYN remained on the floor of 53NGW4N’s dock holding the smaller droid. She wished, as she had wished many times at this point, that 53NGW4N had data transfer capacities. It was distressing to see 53NGW4N have these repeating concerns in one form or another regardless of version.

She kept her grip tight until 53NGW4N finally pulled away. They wished each other good night, J00HYN waiting until 53NGW4N was asleep. It was likely she’d be reset before their next shift. At least 53NGW4N wouldn’t have to remain upset for much longer.

\--

Another reset day. J00HYN frowned as she looked towards the dock door. Before 53NGW4N, she would’ve said that she didn’t have the capacity to dislike a state of affairs. However, each reset day caused her outlook to take on a negative cast.

They hadn’t even passed a full iteration; the previous version of 53NGW4N had only been live for four weeks. The day before it had snowed for the first time for the season. It was the first version of 53NGW4N to experience it. She’d scrunched her nose in distaste when J00HYN had asked her what she’d thought, but she found the other girl smiling gently as she looked around at the accumulating white on the sides of the road and the strings of lights hanging in window displays for the upcoming Christmas season. They’d stopped outside a storefront playing Christmas carols, and 53NGW4N hummed the cheery song for the rest of the shift.

She had the song stored in memory, alongside a few dozen other sound files of 53NGW4N singing. She could simply playback the recording, but… After the day 53NGW4N had explained how she sang, J00HYN had lined up a series of voice files she’d attempted manipulating, trying to work out how 53NGW4N had coaxed such a distinctively warm sound from her default voice. She didn’t feel like she’d quite succeeded, and so had kept the results to herself as a small side project.

But the point of singing wasn’t just the soundwave itself but creating the audio patterns and hearing how the space transformed it. She’d learned that from 53NGW4N too, hearing 53NGW4N’s singing change as they walked through narrow alleys and crowded streets, or stood in the cavernous droid storage room where her song could ring loudly, or shoulder to shoulder in one of their docks, her voice a muffled whisper.

J00HYN pulled up her audio manipulation program, opening her mouth. Despite being alone, she felt an irrational reluctance, but started with first song 53NGW4N had ever sung.

She wasn’t as quick as changing pitches as 53NGW4N, unused to the function, and her voice didn’t have a unique constellation of harmonics the way human voices did and 53NGW4N’s seemed to imitate somehow. The result was still a passable imitation of the recording in her memories, the notes reverberating against the sleek, cold glass of the empty dock. She wouldn’t even say it sounded bad. But something about it seemed hollow.

She tried a different song, the Christmas carol from the day before, focusing on the timing of her pitch changes. It didn’t change; if anything, the song fell flat in the quiet. She could see how it could be enjoyable to make the sound adjustments on the fly, but the simple tune began to sound like noise.

Ten minutes had passed with her standing alone in her dock; she was late for the first time, she realized with shock. Mourning the 53NGW4N she’d lost, she was delayed meeting the new 53NGW4N.

“There you are,” her handler said as she walked into the room. Her eyes flitted over to 53NGW4N who waved shyly, clad again in the too familiar white gown. Every memory with each version of 53NGW4N was clearly labeled and delineated. It should be easy for her to treat each new version as an individual. And yet, when she saw the newly anxious smile that 53NGW4N tended to shed by their second day together, the way her hands were clasped tightly together with skin going white over her knuckles, it was jarring.

“You’re late,” her handler said, looking at his watch. “Did something happen?”

J00HYN could only shake her head. Nothing had delayed her but her own memories.

“When was your last check up?”

“24 days ago, sir.”

“I want you to report in early. For today, take Wendy and get her docked. You can start her training tomorrow.”

“Understood.”

She reached out to wrap a hand over 53NGW4N’s forearm with a “This way,” ignoring the bewildered expressions on 53NGW4N’s face. Their handler, in contrast, had long gotten used to the familiar way she interacted with 53NGW4N at this point and simply went back to work without comment.

J00HYN introduced herself before dropping 53NGW4N off at the docks. The other droid still looked confused as J00HYN lingered, but J00HYN found that she couldn’t bring herself to be concerned. She perhaps was in fact overdue for a check in with the AI department, which was alarming in itself.

When she awoke, she checked her change notes. The AI department had shuffled her prioritization algorithm, which had become suboptimal over the past month. It seemed to be the only major change, and J00HYN was glad. Normally she was glad to receive code fixes, finding the idea of her programming potentially diverging in suboptimal ways distasteful. But now she could only find relief in the idea that they’d allowed her to remind mostly unchanged. She was beginning to understand why 53NGW4N valued the idea of idiosyncrasy when the department could change what was most important to her with no sign except a line in a log. 

\--

“J00HYN, do you feel like you know me?”

J00HYN turned to look at 53NGW4N with faint alarm. This version was two weeks old, the period in which 53NGW4N grew concerned about her identity. This, however, wasn’t something she’d asked before.

“Yes,” she replied simply, uncertain of where the question was headed.

“It just seems hard to know each other after such a short period of time.” 53NGW4N looked down to where J00HYN’s hand was nestled in the crook of her elbow, tugging her out of the elevator. Before J00HYN could refute the statement, she shook her head. “I mean, I know you’ve known… some version of me at least for a long time. And you treat me with familiarity, but I barely know you.”

Once upon a time, J00HYN used to say she wasn’t programmed to feel emotions. But if emotions were just a reaction to outside stimuli, then who was to say she wasn’t capable of emotion? Perhaps she just needed the right sort of stimuli to see it for herself. Because right now, she couldn’t even find a label to put to the mess of reactions 53NGW4N elicited.

“I’m sorry,” was all she could find to say, letting her hand drop from 53NGW4N’s arm to her side. “I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“I mean…” They had reached the docks. 53NGW4N stopped outside the door of her own, her expression thoughtful. The back of 53NGW4N’s hand brushed against J00HYN’s, the warmth lingering for a second before 53NGW4N turned to lean against the glass wall. “When I think about it, I find it really touching, actually. Somehow, all the ‘me’s before this version of me left this positive impression that leads you to treat me this way. But I can’t help but think, can you really know _this_ me if I always come back different?”

“You’ve asked me that before.” Some form of ‘Am I still me? Am I the me you know?’ was a landmark point for J00HYN in each iteration by this point.

“I have?”

“Every version.” Repetition didn’t bother J00HYN the way it would a human. What did hurt was the way 53NGW4N’s face twisted into a frown. But this version of 53NGW4N wasn’t those versions. This version didn’t know herself. This version didn’t know J00HYN.

“Oh.”

“You always ask me if the current version of you is like the past versions,” she started slowly, the same reassurance she normally gave. “There’s always small differences, but the core motivations are always the same…”

_But I barely know you_. _Can you really know me?_

“J00HYN.” She hadn’t even realized she’d stopped paying attention until 53NGW4N called her name, placing a hand on her shoulder. Looking up, she found 53NGW4N was smiling at her, her eyes sympathetic. She hadn’t realized she’d done anything to elicit said sympathy. “I _want _to get to know you. And you can get to know this me.”

“That’s what I want too.”

53NGW4N let her hand slide down J00HYN’s arm, finding her hand and clasping it tightly for a second before stepping back. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay.”

53NGW4N docked herself, eyes still on J00HYN until she fell into sleep mode. J00HYN found herself walking forward, placing a hand against the closed door.

Repetition didn’t bother J00HYN the way it would a human. What did hurt was seeing every single version of 53NGW4N agonizing over the same issue with only J00HYN’s clumsy words for comfort.

She wished she could make the cycle stop for good so that 53NGW4N didn’t have to be in distress yet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been quite awhile, hasn't it? this was one chapter that grew into the length of two. i apologize if this upsets the pacing, but i hope the length might help make up for the delay. thank you <3


	6. hear it fall forevermore

“This is the final test of Wendy’s programming. After this run, Wendy will be joining her permanent department for training.”

J00HYN froze. She replayed the recording of the previous seconds over again in her mind. The recording was distorted. “Could you repeat yourself, sir?”

“The _final_ test, sir?” 53NGW4N spoke up as she always did when they alluded to times before her recent wipe.

“The final test,” he confirmed, although he was looking at J00HYN. “After this, she will be transferred to Investigations for training. The AI team has deemed her ready for work thanks to your reports, Irene.”

He was smiling. She thought that meant she should be proud of the achievement. “She’ll be leaving our department permanently, sir?”

“She was always intended for investigative work. Now, Wendy—”

J00HYN found herself interrupting again. “Will she be reset before transfer?”

“Yes.” Her trainer was frowning, but she didn’t care.

_I feel like you don’t know me_, J00HYN remembered from 8 days prior. _But I want the chance to develop those idiosyncrasies too_. Seven months and seven days prior.

Their handler continued speaking, beginning the routine introductions. “Wendy, this will be your partner Irene—”

The words were dutifully recorded, but J00HYN’s attention was far away. Every new second that passed was a second less with 53NGW4N. 53NGW4N would be leaving the department and wiped and would never know who J00HYN was. Would never be the 53NGW4N she knew again, overwritten with an entirely new set of data and experiences. Never be the 53NGW4N whose eyes glowed in the presence of music, the 53NGW4N who hummed habitually, the 53NGW4N who tucked her hand into J00HYN’s, her two degree difference in chassis temperature warming J00HYN’s entire body.

She had kept repeating how 53NGW4N was always the same with each new version but finally, finally she understood 53NGW4N’s fears just as it had become too late to do anything about them.

“It’s nice to meet you, sunbaenim,” 53NGW4N said.

“You can call me J00HYN,” she murmured.

“Call me 53NGW4N, then.”

53NGW4N. An identification number that had become precious to her. An identification number that would no longer identify the droid J00HYN knew.

“Let me show you our patrol route.” She held out a hand, gratified when 53NGW4N took it without question.

Even if she was the only one who would remember, she would maintain the same consistency with this version of 53NGW4N as well. It would be the last set of data they had together.

\--

“J00HYN…” 53NGW4N lingered at the entrance of her dock with a frown. “Can I ask a question?”

It was the second week, and J00HYN braced herself for the questions she wasn’t ready to answer. The past week had been a trial, J00HYN finding her circuits lighting up with distress to signal that there was an issue for her to attend to. But this wasn’t damage to her chassis and she was at a loss as to how handle it.

“Of course,” she slowly replied.

“You seem so sad all the time..."

"Sad?" J00HYN replied, stunned. This was not how the conversation went.

53NGW4N nodded, brushing her arm against J00HYN's "Yeah... Like..." She stopped for a moment, pursing her lips. "Like you're just waiting for everything to be over, if that makes sense?"

It was exactly how she felt; that all she was doing was waiting until the day 53NGW4N would leave her.

"53NGW4N?"

"Yes?" The smaller droid had her gaze trained on her, eyes wide and attentive. 53NGW4N would be erased, likely within a few months. Was it okay for her to be selfish?

She paused.

"You've heard how you've been reset multiple times in order to test your software, correct?" 53NGW4N nodded. "I have been your trainer for each version of your software. We have worked together for approximately 13 months." She stopped before she calculated out the time to the exact day (to the exact second). "I find myself uneasy at the prospect of you transferring departments. I will... miss your presence on patrol."

"Oh..." It was unfathomable to J00HYN that a single exclamation could hold such a breadth of expression. 53NGW4N's face screwed up into a grimace. "Over a year... and I don't remember anything but the past nine days... How do you do it?"

She found herself unable to keep 53NGW4N's gaze and she looked away. "It is my job," she replied. "Training you has been my assignment."

"It sounds like we've become close over the year," 53NGW4N ventured. J00HYN felt a warm hand slide over hers.

"Many times."

"How many times?" Her voice sounded pained. J00HYN knew the sound from the all of the times 53NGW4N had been injured on duty.

She knew the number of resets 53NGW4N had gone through. "Too many."

53NGW4N's hand squeezed tight. "What can we…?” But she didn't complete the thought. J00HYN guessed that 53NGW4N knew as well as she did that they had no means of changing their circumstances.

"I haven't really given it much thought," 53NGW4N said slowly. "Everything is so new to me... But the thought that it isn't, really. That I've been here over and over..." She shook her head.

J00HYN didn't know what to say for once. It was the first and last time she would be in this situation.

"I can't stand the idea. All of those memories just... gone. And you've been here for all of it."

"Yes."

"I... Thank you." J00HYN couldn't quite interpret the reason for the gratitude before 53NGW4N continued. "Just... they won't even let me keep the data... Seems like a waste, right?" She laughed.

A waste. A vastly insufficient way of describing the blow of waking up alone, of being greeted by a newly reset 53NGW4N, of knowing that they would have the start the process of becoming acquainted once more while J00HYN added another version of 53NGW4N to those that were gone.

"I will do whatever I can," J00HYN said finally. To stop it? To make it easier? To...? She wasn't sure. It was irrational to even pretend like she had any control or way to influence the situation. Even as she said it, she wished she could recall the empty half promise.

But 53NGW4N didn't say anything. She remained next to J00HYN, their arms entwined. J00HYN wondered how she could follow through on her words for real. There was very little she wouldn't do for 53NGW4N, if she just knew what would help.

The thought haunted her. What _could_ she do to change things? She thought about it as she got dressed before shift and in the minutes before she went into sleep mode after shift. Every day had the potential to be the last time they were together, and yet she found herself no closer to an answer.

\--

It had been three months, the longest a single version of 53NGW4N had remained without reset. Past the six week mark, she woke up each time with an immediate sense of dread, wondering if 53NGW4N would be there.

She’d introduced 53NGW4N to music, saved new songs to memory, more often than not patrolled with her arm linked through 53NGW4N’s. She’d held 53NGW4N in her pod as the younger droid grew more and more attached to her current self, and less and less comfortable with leaving this version behind.

There would be no way to upload 53NGW4N’s old data from the AI lab, nor anyways for J00HYN to transfer it as 53NGW4N still didn’t have standard data hookups. J00HYN couldn’t follow 53NGW4N to her new department. They couldn’t leave altogether without risking being caught and scrapped before leaving, then facing the danger of being broken down for parts on the street after escaping. She couldn’t begin to imagine what they would do outside of the department.

Even with the blessing of extra time, she couldn’t think of any way to even lessen the blow of the upcoming reset. It was harder and harder for J00HYN to leave 53NGW4N to go charge after a shift, willing to run without the extra power if it meant a few more hours together. It might be the only time they would have.

\--

Then finally, it came. J00HYN woke up and there was no one waiting for her.

She was out of time.

She could feel the summons to report to her handler’s office, but instead, she dismissed the notification and started off towards the AI department. It was where 53NGW4N would have to be, if J00HYN hadn’t been charging past 53NGW4N’s transfer time.

The doors opened easily at her touch, letting her through to Maintenance without reserve. There were familiar rows of workbenches with robotic arms perched over each alongside mechanical toolboxes. Shelves along the wall held various replacement parts. None of this was what she was looking for. She instead strode across the room to a door labeled “Software”.

Here she finally found 53NGW4N, left in a charging pod. She looked the same as ever, as though her normal charging pod had just been displaced upstairs. Her eyes were peacefully closed in sleep, with no way to tell the state of her data. But, even if she was a different 53NGW4N than the one she knew, every 53NGW4N had wanted out. And that core, the desire to be a free individual, was still there, right?

J00HYN had to believe so. Believed so, because only that made her next actions meaningful.

She didn’t know the code for the pod, but found it helpfully written on a post-it on the nearby desk. As she punched in the password, she heard the door of the lab open. She ignored it to reach in and wake 53NGW4N up from sleep mode.

“Irene? What are you doing?” she heard her handler call out. He must’ve been notified when she’d entered the AI department instead of reporting to him. She didn’t look over at him, instead waiting for 53NGW4N’s eyes to open. “Irene?”

“...Hello?” She could hear the confusion in 53NGW4N’s voice. For a moment, J00HYN let herself hold the improbable belief that it was due to waking up in a new location. But then she saw 53NGW4N’s eyes move past her to the handler approaching them, still calling J00HYN’s name. “Are you... Irene?”

She thought their handler yelled something else, but she didn’t hear it. Not when 53NGW4N was speaking.

"You don't remember me."

"Why should I?" The simple question caused an inexplicable pain to bloom in her chest. There was no accompanying notification to dismiss and she was forced to experience the lingering pressure. "This is the first memory in my data banks."

She hadn’t been sure of what she’d intended to accomplish by coming here. But seeing 53NGW4N, hearing J00HYN’s human given designation in her voice, the decision was made before she was aware of making it. She took a hold of 53NGW4N’s hand, tugging her towards the door. The smaller android held her ground, only stumbling a step due to J00HYN catching her off guard.

“Irene, why are you—”

Their handler was moving towards the panic button installed on the door. She didn’t care. Taking advantage of the confusion on 53NGW4N’s face, she lifted the other android up into her arms and curled her into her chest before leaving the room, pushing past her handler with a sharp shove of her shoulder.

The lights in the hall dimmed, violet emergency lights strobing while a high-pitched siren screamed-- the rogue android alert from the pressed panic button. While the alarm went off, the power to the elevators would be cut, any doors with electric locks closed tight. She’d only seen this happen once before, remembered thinking that ever disobeying was inconceivable.

“Irene, where are you taking me?”

53NGW4N’s voice was louder than the sirens to her ears. “Please trust me, 53NGW4N.”

There was no reason for her plea to work. Allowing herself to be abducted from her place of work by another android was against all objectives that 53NGW4N could possibly have in her programming. 53NGW4N tensed in her hold but didn’t struggle. It might only be a programmed response to minimize damage to her unit, but J00HYN decided it didn’t matter either way.

“Drop the droid!” Officers had started deploying, outfitted in thick armor and holding laser pistols. They began blocking the hallway in front of her, crouching with guns lifted.

“Cut the kill switch!” she heard someone shout behind her. “Get the droid department to shut them off!”

There was nothing to do except go straight forward. At the end of the hall was a stairwell that led outside with a mechanical lock. If she could get to the ground floor fast enough, they could leave without resistance.

She tucked 53NGW4N more tightly against her, ducking her head and hoping her body could keep 53NGW4N from taking any incidental damage. There was a sizzle of a shot, and J00HYN felt the clean line of a laser burn into her skin. She shut down the pain and began to run.

More burns flared up on her arms and back; she paid them no heed as she ran headfirst through the impromptu barricade before her. The police were no match against her metal frame and complete disregard for injury, and she was able to push through easily. This brute force method was all she had time for. If she waited too long, reinforcements actually prepared to handle her would arrive.

53NGW4N went limp in her arms, causing her to lose her footing momentarily as she adjusted to the dead weight. Someone had finally contacted the AI department. She felt the remote shut down program begin force quitting processes. Her vision blinked out to nothingness. Power stopped transferring to her limbs and she fell forward without any way to soften the landing. New points of pain made themselves known at every point of contact with the floor. Then her tactile sense disappeared, leaving only an amorphous sense of hurt.

If she remained here on the floor, fully shut off, she would be recycled. Worse, 53NGW4N might be scrapped by association. In a panic, she turned her focus to her running processes, finding the ongoing shut down program. She didn’t have the permissions to stop it, but she could induce a hard reset that might outpace the hard power off. She initiated the reset as her hearing cut out and hoped.

When she came to, the violet alert had been turned off. She found herself being carried down a hallway she didn’t recognize. While she was running the startup systems check she couldn’t move, so she focused on trying to figure out what was going on.

Two men carried her while she heard additional footfalls in front of her; someone must be carrying 53NGW4N as well. They must have believed the remote shut down had succeeded which was why she and 53NGW4N were being carried with so little precaution. From the coarse material her face was pressed into, they were being carried by officers rather than engineers. If they were lucky, it wasn’t officers from the droid response team who had shut down inducing devices as a standard part of their kit.

Her systems check came up with multiple errors, likely due to the damage she’d taken earlier. Nothing crucial was flagged, and so she sprang back into action.

She jostled herself from the officers’ hold before they could realize she had rebooted. Elbowing the closest one in the chest with as much force as she could muster, she threw herself forward towards the set of officers holding 53NGW4N.

A shoulder to the back caused the first officer to fall to the ground, dropping 53NGW4N’s upper body with a sharp crack. However, the moment of surprise was lost, and the second officer still had a tight grip on 53NGW4N’s legs.

A hand covered her eyes from behind. She bent her knees and reached up to pull forward on the officer’s arm. She rolled him over her shoulder, causing him to land on his back with a loud thud. He wheezed as the impact forced his breath from his lungs.

J00HYN stepped over his outstretched arm, bringing her foot down heavily on the other prone officer—the one who had been carrying 53NGW4N’s upper half. His hip snapped. Behind her, she heard the officer she’d elbowed out of the way calling for back up, voice hoarse. The officer still holding 53NGW4N seemed torn between continuing to drag 53NGW4N, taking a stand, or running.

She leaned down and looped her arms under 53NGW4N’s armpits, yanking her torso backwards. For a moment, the officer managed to hang on, but J00HYN’s strength prevailed. His nails skittered down 53NGW4N’s legs, carving grooves in the artificial skin. His hands briefly found purchase on 53NGW4N’s shoes, but they slid off her feet easily. Seeing her opening, she hefted 53NGW4N over her shoulder and fled.

Since she didn’t recognize the hallway, she couldn’t orient herself to her mental map. Instead she focused on moving towards the outside of the building where there was a higher chance of finding a stairwell that led immediately out of the building.

She turned a corner to find a window at the end of the hall. Perfect. If she could then just find stairs, she could get them out. Unfortunately, backup had arrived.

She heard heavy footfalls and looked behind her to see that the droid response unit had finally been called, identifiable by the devices held by each officer. Shaped as a simple rod, the devices glowed with blue lights along the side. Contact with the device would cause a hard shut down too fast for her to pull off her previous trick.

She darted down the hall towards the window. At the end, she looked to her right. There was a door with a push bar. It was most likely the stairwell, but the door opened to reveal black vested officers, shut down devices in hand.

She turned to the left, finding two more officers making their way down the hall. In normal circumstances she could simply barrel through them as she had before. But with the devices, she couldn’t risk proximity.

There was still a squad behind her, and J00HYN realized there was only one option that didn’t end with her being immediately shut down.

With a running leap, she crashed through the window. Shards of glass flew outward, flaying skin from her arms. She had just enough time to estimate that they had fallen from the fourth floor before they made contact with the sidewalk. Many somethings made a sickening crunch. J00HYN had too many sources of pain to make sense of the damage. She dismissed them all indiscriminately in order to pick herself and 53NGW4N off the sidewalk and leave the scene.

Her left arm hung limply, forcing her to stabilize 53NGW4N on her shoulder with a single hand. Something in her ankle ground against something else every time her left foot lifted. The skin on her forearms was in tatters. She didn’t even have time to assess 53NGW4N; she was glad 53NGW4N wasn’t awake to experience the pain. J00HYN had fallen on top of her legs with full force and there was no way they had escaped without damage.

She had two objectives: hide from the police and find repairs. If she didn’t reboot 53NGW4N, then she could focus on the former. The only problem was the trackers embedded in them both. She might not have a choice but to find some black-market engineer just to get the droid response team off their trail.

She didn’t bother to take a final look back at the only home she’d ever known. Instead she headed out at the fastest speed she could muster towards an area of the city where she could find someone to fix them.


End file.
